Choosing His Joy

On Today

2012-01-27T11:21:00.000-08:00

A spiritual battle has been going on in my heart, mostly over sickness, and a relationship gone bad.

It's easy to justify feeling pity for yourself in sickness, or acting in anger at someone who hurt you, but it isn't how we as Christians are called to respond to trouble when it comes our way.

The other night, I stayed up reeeeally late reading about Mitochondrial Diseases. As I was researching, I recalled that although understanding a disease you likely have is beneficial, researching "toys" with your heart and emotions in mighty big ways.

In might bad ways.

I had to eventually stop because the idea of where this could lead was too much for me to take in.

Whenever I focus on the--it could lead to where I was reading about--I have to walk away and re-direct myself to the--it could not lead to where I was reading about.

After all, my family has defied many odds--for the bad--but best of all--for the good.

It's because of this, that I can re-direct my thoughts to the positive, and to trusting in the plan of the One who made us.

So many things I have feared over the years never came to fruition....thankfully.

I am thankful that I experience it though because it taught me not to fear....as much. Since I am not perfect, I still have my moments....but instead of being a way of life for me as it was, they are now brief intermittent--every-once-in-awhile-moments. (Praise God.)

Because even when something I did fear came about, the Lord provided for us and cared for us in it...so much so that in those times, we were able to find joy and thankfulness in it anyway.

What I struggle with the most is the idea of having a progressive disease that no one can generally do nothing about. The fear of where I or Gavin will be in 5 years or 10 years is too much to bare. However, the truth is that I shouldn't even be thinking about that. I need to keep my heart and mind in the hear and now. In how we are today.

And today, we aren't that bad.

I am grateful for that.

Surely not by coincidence, my Jesus Calling Devotional said this yesterday:

"Give up the illiusion that you deserve a problem-free life. Part of you is still hungering for the resolution of all difficulties. This is a false hope! As I told my disciples, in the world you will have trouble. Link your hope not to problem solving in this life but to the promise of an eternity of a problem-free life in heaven. Instead of seeking perfection in this fallen world, pour your energy into seeking Me: the Perfect One.

It is possible to enjoy me and glorify Me in the midst of adverse circumstances. In fact, my light shines most brightly through believers who trust Me in the dark. That kind of trust is supernatural: a production of My indweeling Spirit. When things seem all wrong, trust me anyway. I am much less interested in right circumstances than in right responses to whatever comes your way."

So I am to expect problems. I am to expect things not going my way. But when those times come, as they have this week, my goal should not be to fix these problems that don't go the way I want them to.

Instead, it should be to trust in the Lord, while clinging to the hope of perfection in heaven, so that His Strength and His Light will shine most brightly through me in these dark times and so I will grow closer to Him.

I can do that....as long as I am in His presence daily....as long as I am constantly re-directing my focus and my heart and my mind to Him...doing this allows me to do just that....accept the difficulties as they come, trusting Him to work it out for our good according to His plan for our lives.....regardless of what that plan looks like.

We trusted Him this week, kept our freaking out to a minimum, and He saw us through. Gavin is much better....but instead of fearing how he will do in the next few weeks with baseball starting...instead of fearing and wondering if these episodes happen more or if he will be hospitalized this Spring like he has been every Spring throughout his entire life....

I am to focus on today.

I am to find joy in today.

And I am to trust Him today.

And today, I am choosing to just that.

Free Valentine's Day Cards

2012-01-25T11:38:00.000-08:00

Formatted to fit onto 8 and a half by 11 paper, print directly from your printer if you so desire! There are 4 different pages, so you can only print what you love... : )

Happy Valentine's Day!

Brought To You By the Color Yellow

2012-01-25T00:07:00.000-08:00

I heart yellow.

I have happy memories of me and my mom wearing bright yellow dresses at Easter...I loved that we matched.....but most of all, I loved the yellow.

When I was in pre-school, I remember her walking in to pick me up, wearing this bright yellow 70's dress, with yellow pumps (she worked in investment banking)...and she looked like a glowing angel to me.

Yellow comforts me.

It makes me happy (yes, even our dog is yellow)

It brings me joy.

It makes me feel pretty.

It warms my soul.

I heart yellow!

Valentine Inspiration {with Freebies!}

2012-01-24T13:20:00.000-08:00

I made these two cards...I am sure I will more...but feel free to download...for free! : )

{email me for the above above and below cards if you can't download from here}

I totally want to make one of these below for each of my kids, and one for my husband...how cute would that be?!

{from I love it all via pinterest}

And I want to make this below to hang in our home as a decoration...

{From this mertillo shop on etsy via Pinterest}

I want to make this for my bubble-gum loving girl...

{from love the day via pinterest}

I want to make these with my kids....

{from Martha Stewart via Pinterest}

and this....

{from love the day via Pinterest}

I Heart Valentine's Day!

Puke

2012-01-23T13:08:00.000-08:00

My little man is had a rough weekend.

Remember these days? {below}

The days where he didn't do anything or go anywhere without a puke bucket under his chin or in his lap?

We're sort-of re-visitng those.

I say sort-of because thankfully, I don't think it's for the same reason.

(those pictures above are from last May)

He has SO many medical conditions inside his GI tract and they all make him vomit, so it has taken some detective-type work to detect any pattern whatsoever, but over the past year

I have noticed 4 distinct patterns--or 4 distinct causes of the vomiting--

that his body follows most of the time.

1. When he doesn't eat much and is vomiting undigested food so many hours after it should have digested, he needs an increase in his motility meds.

2. When he is flushing and itching with hives, he is having a masto reaction

(but those don't seem to happen anymore).

3. When the nausea and vomiting is non-stop--as in not episodic--he needs a Prevacid dose increase.

I initially freaked out that we were there yesterday.

I say freaked out because he can't have any more increases,

and I don't want to remove the diseased portion of his stomach

(the antrum--the lower half)

that is causing the acid issues.

But as I sat and briefly processed through all the things that make him vomit, I remembered the fourth pattern I have been recognizing--and its a pattern that doesn't involve acid being the culprit.

So I took a deep breath and just watched.

And thought.

And then I paged his GI.

And we talked.

And I shared pattern #4....and if pattern #4 is from what we think it is from, it would mean that not all of his frequent, seemingly non-stop sometimes kind of vomiting issues is due to his acid blocker no longer being strong enough to contain the super mega amounts of gastric acid that is stomach produces....

and if that's true, that would mean that we don't have to always quickly jump to the freak out mode that shouts:

"Is-today-the-day-where-he-is-rushed-in-to-have-half-his-stomach-removed?"

everytime he pukes excessively.

That would be nice.

I mean, to not have to go to that mental place every time he needs Zofran.

Pattern #4 is he vomits whenever he is overtired.

His limb muscles get weak and too heavy for him to hold up,

his body gets really uncomfortable and reeeeally tired,

and he starts the nasuea...

and if I am not quick enough with the zofran, the vomiting.

Pattern #4 is consistent with Mito.

He does it whenever he is tired.

Whether it is mentally from doing too much school,

emotionally from too much anxiety,

or physically from too much play or exercise or exertion--

it's always when he has "over-done it".

And over-doing it is after 1-2 hours of non-stop activity.

That is reeeeally challenging for so many reasons.

So last night in order to avoid the hospital--we kept him hydrated, gave him zofran through the night, and hoped after a good-night's rest he would be better today.....

and I am thrilled to say that today, he is.

Thankfully it is raining, and he is on the couch under blankets, laying down, playing Wii--giving his body more time to re-gain some energy.....these are good things.

While I don't like that he (and I) are possibly dealing with this other medical condition--

it helps that for us: it's functional, it can be tamed by not over-doing it and by resting often, and medications and supplements can relieve the symptoms.

It appears to be more of a cut-and-dry thing with him--even though he fatigues daily and gets symptoms, he has times in between where he feels great--whereas for me, I rarely ever feel great.

For me, it's more of a chronic every-day thing. Maybe it's because I am older, or it's more progressed...I don't know.

The challenge for both of us is finding that line where enough is enough and not passing it...by getting enough schoolwork done, by knowing what to participate in and what to pass on, on knowing that it means we have to miss out on things we really want to do because we know it would be too much activity, and in helping a very emotional boy to keep his emotions in check that they don't cause his body to go into another "crisis".

So even though I am exausted from taking care of him, I am thankful he is better, and that we're home, not needing to go out in the rain, and I can lay down on the couch and rest for the rest of the afternoon with him.

In moments like now, when my body aches and my heart hurts because I am so tired of feeling sick, I often take a look at this face--a face with a flashy smile on a good day
{taken last week}

and it always perks me up, at least emotionally.

It's a pretty great smile...if I do say so myself ; ).

Wordless Wednesday But With Words

2012-01-18T12:11:00.000-08:00

My Photography hobby is blossoming into an actual business and I couldn't be more thrilled! I don't have a website yet, but I do have a photography blog that I am using as a substitute avenue for potential clients to see my photography work to this point...

Like I said in the post below this one, I did my first Newborn Photoshoot a few days ago, and I have two more scheduled in the coming weeks!

I also have a Carla Gorecki Photography Facebook Page!

I also will be making custom birth announcements to go with their favorite picture(s) for each newborn photo shoot.

I haven't started Baby J's yet, as they are still deciding on which of the 327 pictures to choose from! : )

Custom Birth Announcements brings me to another hobby of mine that already became a full-blown business...my design business!

I also have a design Facebook page--still listed as Masto Mama Designs.

I am struggling with a new name for this (not happy with Joyful Designs either but it's on my site for now), but am lacking ideas...if you come up with an idea that I love, I will give you something from my Etsy Site for free : ).

Anyway, in addition to custom birth announcements, custom "save-the-date" announcements for weddings (I am making my first custom designed one now) Christmas Cards, and blog designs, I also have started making custom prints (signs) that can be framed and hung in your home.

You can buy them directly on my new Etsy Site too!

My Etsy Site has a custom design option, and through that, one of my close friends requested a set of prints that all match each other for her daughter's room.....and thus, it inspired me to make some for my daughter's new big tween room at the same time.

Here is what I made for my daughter's room:

Then I made these to match the prints above (also for my daughter's room):

Last, I made this sign to match for my sweet girl:

This is the set that I custom designed for my friend's daughter's room:

These three prints are what I custom designed for their bathroom:

As soon as I finish my first birth announcement and Save-the-Date for a wedding announcement, I will post them....
I find that most clients prefer custom designs for practically everything, and I love that now I can combine the photography with those custom designs, at least for local clients!

But for all you non-local clients (I live in Southern California), custom designs for prints, announcements, cards, and blog designs are always available. Just visit my site links above for what you are interested in. ; )

I am linking up with Rachel from And Then She Snapped....because this was definitely a very wordy Wordless Wednesday!

Happy Day to you all!

A Rose Among Thorns

2012-01-16T21:58:00.000-08:00

1. I did my first Newborn Photography Shoot...and I am in love.

{this shot above and below are both favorites!}

I discovered that my photography passion is clearly newborns, babies, toddlers, children--which isn't really a surprise to all those who know me well.

2. Well that....and sunsets at the beach.

Anything at the beach.

Also not a surprise to those who know me at all!

3. We have a new Target in our home town

(oh happy day!)

and right when you pull out of the parking lot, you stare at the ocean, because the street you pull onto goes directly towards the beach. It's only about a mile straight ahead, with a slight turn to drive there- but the ocean spans infront of you on that street.

This is about a mile from my house.

{Did I mention what a happy day it was for me when it opened?!}

I digress.

Back to my point.

I pulled out of the beloved Target parking lot on Saturday night to see the most glorious sunset of my life happening right before my eyes.

So instead of turning right to go home,

I. went. straight.

Straight, to the beach....

with my friend's DSLR camera
(which ironically happened to be with me, much like a baby would be).

And even though the sun had gone all the way down when I arrived, I caught these after shots
(which apparently is the best time to shoot, but I don't necessarily agree)

these glimpses of heaven-like after shots

and I felt like I was standing in the middle of heaven.

The God of the universe--in all His glory--glory that is revealed through His creation--this beautiful magical magnificent creation--loves ME and YOU more than anything else in the world.

I felt so peaceful...much like this little guy was when I took 327 pictures of him(!)

and grateful

and blessed.

The ocean breeze gently pushing my hair back,

the smell of the salt air,

the sound of the crashing waves,

the massage of sand under my feet,

the colors glowing above the ocean waters

was enough to calm all of life's hurts in my heart.

It was amazing.

Captivating.

A gift!

Again, much like this little guy is to his family

My heart is troubled by illness,
and broken relationships,
and well...sin.

All the sin that's in our world...

the sin that ultimatley is responsible for all that troubles me.

The sin that dominates for now.

But not forever.

However, when I am there,

when I am at the beach,

and I get to witness the Lord's creation in all its glory,

all of the brokeness in my heart is whisked away;

my troubles become lost in the beauty.

There really is nothing like it....

for me, anyway.

I am SO thankful that I can see it whenever I want.

SO thankful that it's minutes from my home.

What a beautiful rose among the thorns!

It truely makes my life lovely...

and I am also linking up with Carissa...

and Rachel from And Then She Snapped

Happy Monday to you all!

Relinquish

2012-01-11T12:13:00.000-08:00

{Phillipians 4:4 NLV}

We have had some gorgeous days in southern California lately

but alas, it's starting to look and feel more like winter again.

These pictures are from last week.

We definitely enjoyed it and look forward to when it warms up again

because beach days are our favorite days...

Like I said in my last post, my heart has been in mourning over what is happening to some friends, and at the same time worried about what's going on with our health, specifically my own because there are so many stil un-answered questions.

In this mourning though, through much prayer, the Lord has blessed me with more compassion for others....with more resolution to be intentional to serve those around me who are hurting....and with resolution to trust and relinquish all to Him when I don't understand.

This morning's Jesus Calling Devotional was great.

"Trust me by relinquishing control into My hands. Let go and recognize that I am God. This is my world: I made it and I control it. Yours is a responsive part in the litany of Love. I search among my children for receptivity to Me. Guard well this gift that i have planted in your heart. Nurture it with the Light of My Presence.

When you bring me prayer requests, lay out your concerns before me. Speak to me candidly; pour out your heart. Then thank Me for the answers that I have set in motion long before you can discern results. When your requests come to mind again, continue to thank Me for the answers that are on the way.

If you keep on stating your concerns to Mer, you will live in a state of tension. When you thank Me for how I am answering your prayers, your mind-set becomes much more positive. Thankful prayers keep your focus on My presence and My promises."

I read this promise this morning...and it filled my heart with joy.

All of us have a day where we will leave this earth. While it is so sad for those who are left behind, those of us in Christ will be given eternal life where suffering will be no more. Those of us in Christ will be re-united with those we are separated by now through a physical death because our spirits live forever. As cliche as it sounds to say it sometimes, it's not a cliche, it's truth. And it's a truth I must cling to when I don't understand why sweet children pass on long before they are grown-ups.... : (

_________________________

Well, we got Gavin's labs back and they reveal that all is stable with Him....his Gastrin level hasn't changed from the last blood test...it's still in the 700's (and normal is between 16 and 50 for his age)...but it isn't rising....

Praise God!

It leaves me with some questions because of his (and my own) chronic fatigue and persistently low endurance (I thought perhaps he was anemic again but he isn't).

However, in light of our doctors conversations about Mitochondrial Diseases, it fits.

Thankfully, if we do have it, we are clearly "functional" and mild in the spectrum of the disease....but on days like *I* had yesterday, it's hard to deal with emotionally
{except when I see this smiling face...and Chelsea's!}

But God loves us.

He is taking care of us.

His grace is sufficient for us, and His power is made perfect in our weakness.

In it, He has developed in me a deep faith in Him,

compassion for others,

patience in our ailments,

and an acceptance of what our life must be because of it.

While He closed old doors he opened new windows.

He gave me a greater empathy for others,

and a desire to reach out to others

all because of our illnesses--

He also has taught me how to find joy in all things,

by choosing to look for and see it,

and for all that,

I am thankful.

And as my son so proudly displayed on the sandy beach below, he loves me.... : )

so much.

My relationship with my children and husband is stronger instead of weaker because of the Lord working in our hearts in the midst of our chronic illnesses.

I get to spend more time with our kids, and they have an empathy for other kids who are sick that they may not ordinarily have, because they truely understand what it's like to be in their shoes
{to varying degrees}

He has done so much for us in our hard times, and so in times like this past week, I have to remind myself of all of it.

And I have to trust that He is doing the same work in the lives of my friends who are struggling, as He is doing in mine. I have to trust Him not only with our lives, but of all those I love as well.

Oh Lord, continue to give me strength to do that!

As I said above, He closed old doors but opened new windows. You already know that my design site is one of those windows...

but now I officially have another:

I am a budding new photographer--I don't say professional yet--I just say new!

I have always had a passion for photography {as well as design}, and if you have been reading my blog for any length of time, that has probably become fairly obvious to you. : )

Through much encouragement from a few great friends, I decided to go for it this past Novemeber/December, and it has been flourishing ever since...proof that it's the Lord's will, at least for now.

Check out my newly designed Photography Site. I re-vamped the whole thing last night when I couldn't sleep. Almost all the links are complete, and I have a growing portfolio that will continue to grow in the coming months.

I will eventually design an actual website for it once I am officially a professional, but for now, I think the blog site is sufficient for where I am at with it at this moment.

So if you live in Southern California, email me to set up a shoot--my prices are practically free compared to the regular prices in the photography world!

Cling

2012-01-08T23:29:00.000-08:00

Jesus Calling, January 8th.

"Softly I announce my presence. Shimmering hues of radiance tap gently at your conciousness, seeking entrance. Though I have all power in heaven and on earth, I am infinitely tender with you. The weaker you are, the more gently I approach you. Let your weakness be a door to my presence. Whenever you feel inadequate, remember that I am your ever-present Help.

Hope in Me, and you will be protected from depression and self-pity. Hope is like a golden cord connecting you to heaven. The more you cling to this cord, the more I bear the weight of your burdens; thus, you are lightened. Heaviness is not of My Kindgom. Cling to hope, and My rays of Light will reach you through the darkness."

I needed to read this today.

For reasons I can't really share in detail on here, I am SO sad.

So overwhelmed.

So confused.

So trying to not make it about me,

when what I am sad about

is what others that are dear to me are going through.

Babies dying...

children sick....

mamas sick...

broken hearts...

brutal divorces...

So many I care about

broken-hearted,

struggling,

mourning.

It gets so overwhelming.

So hard to fathom.

So hard to trust.

So hard to hope.

Yet, I have to.

I have to.

I have to cling to hope...

the hope of heaven...

what we in Christ can look forward to.

That's when we in Christ can be healed,

free from pain

and suffering

and mourning

and sorrow.

For an eternity.

I yearn for that-

I. yearn. for. it. now.

for us all to be taken up

so we can be done

with the hurting and pain.

Yet it isn't His time.

And so I cling.

To Him...

to His hope,

to His joy,

to His grace,

to His love.

"Sometimes God calms the storm; sometimes He lets the storm rage and calms the child".

Oh Lord, please calm all your children who hurt while storms rage around them. Comfort them and hold them close, under the shadow of your wings, so that they can press on through the days ahead. Protect them from despair and from losing hope. And Father, please protect me, and my family from the same. In Jesus Name I Pray, Amen.

The Joy Dare

2012-01-07T13:57:00.000-08:00

I didn't make it to a thousand in my One Thousand Gift List in 2011--I only made it 235. But, it's because I tried to do it in picture form on my blog instead of like this picture below:

(this picture is from Ann Voskamp's blog because the picture reminds me and inspires me to make one for my kids and for us to do it together during homeschool hours)

And there were plenty of posts that I look back at where I praised God for the gifts that I wrote about, but never numbered them..... : (

So I am going to take the 2012 Joy Dare--the dare to chronicle each one--

and this time I will do it in a notebook--3 a day, everyday, so that I will get to one thousand by December 31st of 2012.

I will post some on here too...but my primary goal is the notebook--perhaps I will photograph the notebook at the end of each month and post it on here, as a way of holding myself accontable.

I need to make this habit before all the other habits

-because it's a joy habit-

and He deserves all my thanks.

I read this quote on Ann's blog, and I wanted to make it fun and cute---so that it will be something I remember because I find it to be so profoundly true:

Its impossible to give thanks and simultaneously feel fear....and fear and worry are long-lasting struggles for me.

In giving thanks, not only do I praise Him from Whom all blessings flow, but I also open myself up to Him--so that He may eliminate my fears...

and there's just no other place I'd rather be than that.

Since reading her book, my heart and soul have been transformed, but I need this transformation over and over again, because like Ann, I am a woman with soul amnesia.

I need to keep remembering over and over again.

So I'm taking the dare...are you?

California Dreaming

2012-01-06T22:24:00.001-08:00

All the leaves are(n't) brown

and the sky is(n't) grey

I've been for a walk

on a winter's day

I('m) be safe and warm

(because) if I('m) ~~was~~ in L.A

California Dreamin'

on such a winter's day

California Dreamin....

California Dreamin...

California Dreamin'....

On such a winters daaaaaaaaaay!

N.E.G.U.

2012-01-05T23:35:00.000-08:00

This sweet, inspirational girl went to be with Jesus today after a long battle with 2 in-operable brain tumors. I am in tears and my heart hurts for her family, but I celebrate that because of her relationship with Jesus Christ, she dances in His arms, as I type, completely healed.

In her battle with cancer...in her pain and sickness and heartache---she blessed thousands of children with something she created--Joy Jars--with the hope that she could spread joy to every child that battles cancer.

Her motto? N.E.G.U.: Never Ever Give Up.

She packed these cute looking jars, she delivered them to our local childrens hospital, word spread like wild fire, thousands got on board, and she was even on the channel 2 news.

She made an impact on so very many in her short 12 years.

Her faith, incredible.

When asked why she did it, her response was "Because it isn't about me".

Wow.

She is a beautiful testament of what it means to love Jesus and what it is to have unconditional faith at the ripe age of 12 years old.

She inspired my New Years resolution post...because the Lord humbled me through her service to others. She demonstrated that no one is too sick to give, or too sick to spread joy to others.

Her family is also incredible (naturally). As I said in my New years Resolution Post, her dad is one of the Pastors at the church where Tim and I met.

When their daughter was near the end of her life here on earth with them, this was what they posted:

"Dear friends...last night our sweet Jessie's condition started to worsen causing us to call in the care team. While our hearts are broken we hold on to the hope of heaven. We covenant your prayers for Jessie and our family. We ask for no visitors as this time. Just prayers!

NEVER EVER GIVE UP!!"

And after she passed away this evening, this is what they posted:

"Dear friends...we have prayed and prayed and prayed for sweet Jessie to be healed here on earth but God's plan was to use heaven for healing. Jessie earned her wings today and is with Jesus now!!! No pain..complete vision...spreading joy. Please pray for our family as we walk out of the valley of death and towards the mountain top. We will let everyone know of her celebration service as arrangements are made. Please join us in carrying on her joyful spirit and Never Ever Give Up attitude."

Their faith, their humility, their strength to trust in the Lord no matter how hard their life circumstances are, is such an incredible inspiration.

They didn't post complaints or anxious pleas for what they desperately wanted, they didn't sound panicked; instead, they witnessed to a world of people of what it is to suffer with faith. They genuinely trusted in God's plan for their daughter's life no matter how short or long it was to be...they clung to the hope of heaven when she was near the end of her time here, and they rejoiced in her healing when she passed, even in their sorrow.

What a beautiful example of a Christ-filled life.

It drives me to

To be intentional with raising my kids to have that kind of faith and love for others--the kind that that sweet Jessica Joy Rees had at the age of 12....

To take my focus off of us when we're struggling, and to turn our pain into joy for someone else....

To not complain about God's plan for our lives, but to trust in His divine nature instead....

I have always wanted to have a family motto, and while I was on her Dad's facebook site, I saw theirs in an acrostic manner, based on their last name.

It inspired me to finally make my own after talking about it for years:

Jessica Joy Rees illuminated like a bright shiny star in a sin-stained world, she enjoyed her life to the fullest, she gave graciously to others, she spread joy to everyone she could...her life her on earth was truely magnificent.

I am going to have my husband read it when he's awake and alert and see if he approves of my choices...and then I am going to have it printed in a fun way....I am open for suggestions!

Since this verse goes with my 2012 Resolution:

We will continue to press on in planning our Joy Drive so that we can help Jessica Joy Rees meet her goal of giving 50,000 Joy Jars to every child with cancer in America.

Our first Keepers of the Faith meeting of the Spring semester starts tomorrow and I am so excited to present it to my girls....
(though this is an old group of girls, there are some new ones, and some gone)

and I will be praying for how the Lord wants this to go...and I am so excited to see where He takes us.

We plan to carry her memory on...her joy...her faith...and her determination to N.E.G.U:

Never Ever Give Up!

In my life, in Gavin's, in Chelsea's, in Tim's...in our family's life, no matter how hard life is and gets.

I hope you'll join me.

Sea World

2012-01-04T11:16:00.000-08:00

We are studying the Ocean and the animals that live in it for Science this year with this book:

(which we LOVE by the way!)

and so the charter school we homeschool through bought annual passes for both of our kids for

our local San Diego Sea World!!!

Tim and I got on their EZ Payment plan, and wala!

4 passes good for one year....excitement!

Here's pictures of our first trip of the year:

The tidepools...I LOVE seastars.

Having lunch...

Pausing for a snuggle...

Waiting for the Dolphin show...Chelsea's all time favorite animal
(the arctic seal she got in her Christmas Stocking is in tie for first!).

Waiting for the show to start...

Dolphin Show!

Amazing....and stunning. One of God's most majestic creatures.

Next we saw the sharks but Chelsea refused to look. I couldn't get any good pictures of them, but Gavin loved them for some strange reason. I must be a boy thing!

On to the Feed the Seals and Sea Lions area...

Chelsea and Gavin's second favorite sea animal.

As you can see, these guys were CRAZY about getting fed. They were hilarious!

LOVE these colors...want my whole house to be in this color scheme.

A sea lion posing for a picture!

Love this seal.

I LOVE them!

One of my favorite pictures, if only the hose wasn't in the background.

Pausing for a dye-free cotton candy break! Yeah for white cotton candy!!

...needing a sugar jump!

Onto the fish and Sea Turtles...

We heart sea turtles : )

Onto the Arctic...pretending to be polar bears in a polar bear den with real ice!

Gavin's 1st favorite animal...and Chelsea's top 3.

The arctic seals were the highlight of our day...we got to feed them even though it wasn't a feeding area because we happened to see a trainer there feeding them. He let us throw in some and they were so fun to watch, and so pretty!

Night time was gorgeous.

We always go before Christmas every year because their Shamu Christmas show is amazing...this year, we were there the day after Christmas but still got to enjoy the show.

They only sing the Christmas songs that are about Jesus, and last year, the one in Florida had a nativity scene...

It's simply beautiful.

It was a FUN day...we can't wait to go back again in a few weeks--for free!!! : ).

My Word for 2012

2012-01-02T22:49:00.000-08:00

My word for 2012 is:

Intentional with doing what's important....intentionally spending quality time with my children when we aren't doing school....intentionally getting our son out of our room and into his own so that my husband and I can finally be alone...intentionally having date nights with my husband......there really is a lot for me to be intentional with.

However, there is one intention in particular that God has allowed to weigh in heavily on my heart for this year:
being intentional with helping others.

My family and I have been on the receiving end of giving for quite some time now.

And most people don't ask me to help because I am limited physically....medically....financially....and I don't usually ever volunteer to help because my disease and condition, and my son's diseases and conditions are so unpredictable. Our finances are unpredictable.

It's all understandable, sure.

But having been on the receiving end for so many years....I recently recognized that I have grown complacent with allowing others to help us and sadly, I have grown comfortable with never doing anything to help anyone else.

I think of plenty of ideas, I even talk about them,
but I don't do any of them.

So this year, I will intentionally step out in faith with my family, in my illness, in my son's illness, and help others in however the Lord guides us to help.

Thus far, He has put rather simple, but profoundly meaningful and practical ways that I can serve to those--that are in shoes that are similar to ours--around us.

First, is with Joy Jars.

Jessie Reece (pictured above) is a 12 year old girl with an in-operable malignant brain tumor. Her dad is one of the pastors at the church where Tim and I met in 1996. They live locally to us, and pass out jars at our local hospitals to kids with cancer.

I lead a Keepers of the Faith group--it's like girl scouts, only it's Christian and not run by a big organization. I have 13 girls that are in grades 2nd-6th, my daughter is one of them and she is in 4th grade.

I decided that my group and I will host a Joy Jar Toy Drive.

We are still in the planning stages, but I am excited that this isn't just something I am going to talk about, it's something I am going to intentionally do with my group of girls:

Send Joy to sick children in our local hospitals.

The second way the Lord has led me to help thus far is donating books to the Joyful Life Library.

Started by Heather from Life Made Lovely after she lost her infant son at 6 weeks old, this beautiful project seeks to "bring a sense of comfort and normality to people in crisis."

She says:

"During Samuel's joyful life God allowed us to be supported through the people we met at the hospital and the pediatric hospice home where Samuel eventually passed away. We learned first hand how important it is to bring a sense of comfort and normality to people in crisis. Now that we understand the importance of this kind of support, we feel called to bring pieces of comfort to other families in similar situations.

We feel strongly that reading a favorite story to a child is an act of love that's comforting to the child and the caregiver alike, and is especially important when your life has been turned upside down because of a little one's critical illness. As a parent of a hospitalized child, you often feel helpless because there is so little comfort and care you can offer. Being able to sit and read a book, just like you would do at home, helps to make the entire family feel a little bit better. Because of this we have set out to put books in as many PICU's as we possible can.

It makes my heart sing when I think of parents being able to give a little comfort to their child through reading books to them. Books that are there because of Samuel's joyful life. We're excited to see where this journey leads us and we hope you'll join us for it."

One of the hospitals on the list is Gavin's hospital...and he's even been in their PICU before. Since spending more nights than I can count at that hospital, and knowing how much Gavin loves being read to, I too recognize how important it is for them to have enough great books to go around.

You will see Heather's Joyful Life Library button on my sidebar in the hopes that
you will decide to click on it, and donate too...
there are many childrens hospitals to choose from...so click on this link to join in.
___________

I also signed up to bring a friend a meal....
it sounds small....
but it's a big step of faith for me.

I am hardly able to cook a home-cooked meal for my own family let alone for someone else's.

But there is one meal that I usually am able to make even when I am not feeling well that is really good. So I am going to double it and deliver half to her family.

I am trusting the Lord to protect my health that day so that I can cook and deliver a hot meal to a friend in need, just like they have done for us so many times.

Instead of not signing up with the assumption that I probably won't be well enough to complete it, I am intentionally going to trust God to sustain me to serve in His kingdom.

It's a simple start...but surely, He will lay more opportunities in my path in the days and months ahead.

I have considered that all the opportunities that the Lord guides me to might all feel simple and small to me because of the fragility of my health, but I decided that I am okay with that.

Why?

Because I am leaving the "How to Help Others" part up to Him...only He knows what I will and will not be able to do...after all, it's His plan for my life, not mine.

I am excited to see what those plans are in this unfold before my eyes this year, and I am thankful that He put this on my heart...thankful that I will be helping others...

grateful to be passing on the Love of Christ that's been given to us for oh so long.

I hope you'll decide to join me!

Life Made Lovely Monday

2012-01-01T23:17:00.000-08:00

I am linking up with Heather at Life Made Lovely Monday.

Being creative makes my life lovely....

{feel free to download and print for free--a New Year's Gift from me to you}

I made the sign above for my sweet girl's new tween room. She's going to be 10--double digits--in two short months.

And "You Are My Sunshine" is OUR song.
I sing it to her every night at bedtime, and have since she was born.

I made a 3 part series of 12" by 12" signs that I will frame for her new room. They all match and all have sayings on it that are special to her and I.

I will reveal the other two later in the week individually for you to download for free.

{Happy New Year from me to you!}

Make it a lovely 2012!

My Favorite Posts in 2011

2011-12-30T12:22:00.000-08:00

You might notice some changes in my blog...I turned it into a blog site.
My home page that has links to all 3 of my sites
(my photography site, my blog, and my design site) is:
http://www.mastomama.com/
My Blog is now: http://www.mastomamablog.com/
Please update your Blog Lists so that you will still get updated info on when I post!
_______________________________________

This week's Friday Favorite Things on Rachel's Blog (Finding Joy)

is to write a post about our favorite posts of 2011.

I love the idea...

because these posts are some of my favorite things.

While these posts below are MY 2011 favorites,

if you want, you can look on my sidebar when you finish reading this post

and see which posts were the most popular with my readers in the past year.

Here is My List:

How We Cope

We are constantly asked how we cope with so much medical hardship...this post answers it. I love this post because it reflects our faith...a faith I am grateful for.

These

My first Friday Favorites post...when I thought the purpose was to just list all my random favorite things. : ) Want to know more about me? This post tells you through images I love....and includes the first picture Tim and I ever took together back in 1996. ; )

Finding Joy in Everyday

A post about how hard our lives are with so many chronic illnesses...and how I can choose to whine and complain, or I can choose to give thanks for the way the Lord blesses us in it, and feel joy because of it.

It's a favorite because this was probably my first post that led to my new title...
Choosing His Joy.
My heart attitude needed a major adjustment and I am so thankful for the transformation the Holy Spirit did in my heart since then.

Miscellany Monday--Beach Style

Reflections on how the Lord uses the beach to quiet my anxious soul...how I crave and need to breathe in His beauty on a regular basis....it includes some of my most favorite and beautiful beach pictures too.

Looking Up

Inspired by a portion of the movie UP and a devotional from Jesus Calling...

"Ironically, the devotional points out that our problems can only be seen as light and momentary when we look UP. UP. That's how I want to live my life. I want to see my medical and financial challenges as ladders--as perspective-lifters instead of resentment or pity inducers. I want to recognize the reprieves as He gives them to me and be clothed in hope and joy even when heartbreak surrounds....by looking UP. But I can't do that on my own strength. It takes repeated prayer, hyper-vigilant focus on my Savior, the bathing of my mind in Scripture, and a whole lot of faith.In a nut-shell, it takes purposeful effort. So what joyful reprieves did I experience this week? Where did I look up and see the hand of God on my circumstance?"

It's my favorite because it inspired me to be a better wife, mom, and woman of God.

Friday Favorite Things--Summer Style
All the things I find joy in during summer...a post where I add numbers 93-105 of my One Thousand Gift List.

You've Come a Long Way Baby

From This:

To This:

and everything in between.

This post makes my heart smile because it shows that God does answer prayers and that He loves my little boy more than I could ever imagine.

Never Fails

A post about His never-ending love for me...and how He helped me through a tough time.

Psalm 18:6

But in my distress I cried out to the LORD; yes, I prayed to my God for help. He heard me from his sanctuary; my cry to him reached his ears.

Where We Homeschool-All New

This was a popular post and a favorite of mine too because of the creativity it took to pull off homeschooling in a main part of the house without making it look like a schoolroom in the main part of the house!

Another Gift List

Finding joy in the midst of life's storms....and recording the way He blesses us in it.

Friday Favorites--My Frailty

A post that stretches me to step out in faith and give thanks for the very thing that I detest.

And how I found joy in it anyway.

Heart, Love and Craftiness

A post about my love for our anniversary and my love for craftiness.

Be Filled With Joy

Finding Joy right where I was at--sick on the couch.

Miscellany Monday--Thankful

A post where I give thanks for a successful surgery and a whole lot more.

and last but not least

My Family

because the pictures make my heart and soul smile...

What are your favorite posts of 2012?

Leave me a comment with some links and I will check them out!

A California December

2011-12-28T15:47:00.000-08:00

A beautiful winter day that can almost be seen only in Cali....

My family and I have a love affair with the beach

in all seasons....

The picture above and below shows our Seal Rock. We LOVE Seal Rock....it's named after...you guessed it...the seals that live on it all year round. You can hear them from the shore...their voices mixed in with the crashing of the waves....it's music to our ears.

And the sunsets are downright incredible....

I will let these speak for themselves....

My favorite is below--I LOVE that there is a bird flying by in the picture!

This is why:
"Are not five sparrow sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. Indeed the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows"
Luke 12:6-7

Birds have become my favorite animal because of that verse...they are now a {cute} visual reminder that I don't need to worry. So having my favorite animal fly infront of what has got to be one of God's all time best creations makes for one perfect picture in my mind.

"The heavens declare the glory of God, the skies proclaim the work of His hands. Day after day they pass forth speech; night after night they display knowledge."
Psalm 19:1-2

Praise God for such a splendid end to a wonderful day after Christmas....

Our Christmas

2011-12-26T20:40:00.000-08:00

Our Christmas was amazing....how was yours?

We started our Christmas Eve by going to our awesome church and while I have loved all 10 Christmas Eve services I have been to at this church, this one was the best!

It was creative and beautiful and the band rocked the house for Jesus!

The candlelight part is always my favorite....

But nothing warmed my heart more than seeing my daughter be old enough to hold her own candle...beautiful.

Naturally for Gavin as of late, he was asleep...but that's another story for another day.

Coming back to Christmas....Jesus is the light of my life, and of the world. Beautiful.

Every year we have a little birthday party for Jesus...we sing Happy Birthday, have cake or cupcakes, and read the Christmas story.

We had dinner with my parents but you wont see a picture of them til the Christmas morning segment of this post as they didn't let me take one of them until before they left!

Can you just see visions of presents dancing in my kids eyes?

Christmas Morning

On Christmas Morning, we of course, opened presents....Chelsea was blessed with her number 1 request--a beach cruiser bike. She's never had a bike and doesn't know how to ride one--so this is a
big deal!

Gavin got one too....they were both so excited (well, they still are!)

Chelsea also got some American Girl accessories for the Kanani doll she got for her birthday last March.

She was so surprised that her American Girl doll got a bike just like hers! ; )

And naturally, Gavin got legos!

Their faces were all a-glow with joy...it was absolutely perfect.

My mom and dad before they left on Christmas morning....

On our way out to Tim's parent's houses, we stopped at the beach because it was a gorgeous day...

It made for a perfect Cali Christmas

While I was blessed with many wonderful gifts, one of my most treasured gifts is one of the simplest pleasures in my life--being able to stick my feet in the sand at our beach on Christmas morning with my family....

nothing beats the feeling of the warm sun on our skin on a bright and sunny wintery Christmas day.

And having the cold water running through our toes?
absolutely amazing {and chilly!}

My Christmas beach "babies" loved it.

I didn't get any pictures at my in-law's house : ( but I did get this one of my two loves when they laid on Tim's aunt's day bed to take a rest.

They were exausted from a Christmas well celebrated.

Thank you Jesus and Happy Birthday!

Show Off and My Christmas Card

2011-12-23T10:52:00.000-08:00

My favorite shots of this last week are these two at our local beach pier....

I can't decide which I like better...I love the one above because I was focusing on the American Flag at the end of the pier...but I love the one below because of the contrast of the storm clouds coming in and the little bit of sunset yellow you can see off in the distance.

This is the same day....love the contrast in the sky.

I know I only allowed one entry, but since I figure I won't win anyway because I am just starting out, I wanted to post all 3! : )__________________________________
And because this is the last time I will post before Christmas....

Card Designed By Me!

Miscellany {Thursday}

2011-12-22T18:00:00.000-08:00

I think this is the longest I have ever gone without posting to my blog...we've been up to a lot so I thought I would share the fun parts......

1. Chelsea had her first REAL piano recital with her awesome new teacher...she did AMAZING. Piano is her absolute most favorite thing in the whole world. It has always been one of mine too!

She is my hero because she never gets even a little nervous and is nothing but excited to play when her turn comes.

Her new teacher is everything we wanted in a piano teacher, and she is in love. She has blossomed so much since starting with him. He makes a big deal out of the whole recital deal, as one should--he rents out a place, they get ribbons, there were at least 30 piano players, a huge audience...it feels like what a recital should be...which makes her all the more, my hero for not getting nervous about participating in it!

My favorite part is that her new teacher was MY mentor teacher back when I taught public school. My first class as a full-time teacher (1999-2000 school year) was what was supposed to be his 21st 4th grade class. But he fell ill and was forced to retire, and so I was hired to take over right before school started. He helped me set up the room, and basically taught me how to teach.

He is the by far, the best teacher I have ever known or seen in public school. He has always been such an inspiration to me because encouragement pours out of every ounce of him without fail. Even when he corrects you, he is encouraging. He makes you laugh and smile even when you've goofed up--points out how he goofs up--how its easy to do--but this is how to do it differently--the way he goes about it makes you want to try even harder because you know he believes that you can do it....and knowing it makes your soul smile.

His faith in the Lord is incredibly passionate....it's priceless.

I can't say enough good about who he is...we are SO blessed because not only did he teach me how to teach 4th graders, but now, he is teaching MY 4th grader how to play piano...we've come full circle! And WE praise God for the chance....Chelsea couldn't more thrilled! : )

2. Chelsea also performed in "Angel Alert" at our church's Christmas musical. She was in the choir--it's her 2nd favorite thing to do...sing. And sang she did!

Do you see her? Middle slightly towards the left, below.

My parents even came down from Los Angeles to see her sing. We LOVE it when they come because they don't go to church. And when they come see her sing, they are at our church. We always hope and pray that somehow it will turn their hearts towards the Lord when they visit.

My mom believes, but my dad doesn't.

So having him come is a big deal--well that and it's the one of the only two times he comes to visit all year. My mom typically comes by herself on the train once a month. My kids have softened my dad's heart...I pray that their faith in Jesus will soften his heart toward the Lord too someday soon.

3. Gavin had a playdate with BOYS and NO GIRLS(!)--meaning no Chelsea and none of her friends--(a BIG and rare event around here) at our local skatepark.

My little monkey thought it was awesome!

I am purposely trying to make time for that because his comfort zone is with Chelsea and her friends. So when our good friend Kate and her 4 boys invited us to the skatepark while Chelsea was coincidentally already somewhere else, we were thrilled!

It was his first time there, and one of the only few times he has ever ridden a scooter in his life.

Even though this family has 4 boys--one of which is Gavin's age, Gavin's abilities and speed is more at the younger one's pace because he has been so sick his whole life.

We are thankful that he is friends with all 4 of these amazingly SWEET boys because it really brings out the BOY in him. : ) They have always encouraged him to try new things, and somehow he only does it when they encourage him. Funny how that works.

(the oldest one is one year younger than Chelsea, then there is one that is Gavin's age, one that is 4--the one he keeps up with---and then the youngest is a toddler)

He only skated for a half hour, and then was sick the rest of the day because of it but both him and I decided it was well worth it.

Even if only for a little while.

4. We exchanged gifts with our neighbor Lauren. They got each other Webkinz...and they were all very excited about the ones they got.

5. Even though Gavin has had a rough month medically, we relish in the happy moments he's been blessed with.

It's hard to come to terms with the idea that he might have Mitochondrial Disease, but we thank God that if he does, it isn't severe. It's functional and mild in the spectrum of the disease--but even so, it affects his life so dramatically.

I am thankful that at least he can pick and choose how he wants to use what little energy he has--saving it for the things that matter the most to him--and that when it's time to rest for the next 24-48 hours after 30 minutes to an hour or two of play (depending on what it is), he doesn't complain. He is happy to snuggle up on our couch with my blanket and his favorite things and play Wii or watch a movie.

His attitude constantly humbles me.

He finds joy in the moment.

All the time.

He doesn't complain about what he misses out on, because he doesn't care. He's grateful for what he has and what he gets to do and relishes in that.

And besides, his smile brightens up my whole world!

He is a constant reminder of what it means to choose joy.

And even though his (our!) illness breaks my heart, I am so thankful for what the Lord blesses us with and teaches us in all of it.

It's how I am able to choose His joy...

even in the hard moments....

(and we've had several in the last couple weeks that I will share about after Christmas....)

it's how I can choose it every minute of my everyday...

Praise God From Whom All Blessings Flow!

Friday Favorite Things

2011-12-16T11:48:00.000-08:00

I am linking up with Rachel

but I am also using this list as part of my One Thousand Gift List....here goes:

217. Beautiful Winter Days at the beach....

218. My sweet friend Heather for letting me borrow her expensive Canon Rebel

219. Getting to trade my photography skills for a free art class for my daughter : )

220. God's imagination--His creativity--his ingenuity--how beautiful is His creation?!

221. Even though it started raining at the beach, it started lightly enough that we didn't get the awesome camera wet....and I got to get these beautiful pictures before we left.

222. My sweet girl all bundled up for a winter day at the beach

223. Palm trees infront of a stormy brightly colored sky

224. My son didn't feel sick while we were there ; )

225. The Lord may have shut the door to me being a full time school teacher, but in the process He opened many windows--on-line designer, homeschooler, and now photographer. What amazing gifts!

I have a hard time coming up with good names for things...but for right now, I think I will call my upcoming new Photography blog, "Choosing His Joy Photography". This blog will also become "Choosing His Joy", and my design blog will become "Choosing His Joy Designs".

I would love to change the address but don't know how to do that without confusing all my readers...any tips?

226. I hope to learn more about web design so that I can tie them all together into a more business like site...I am working on it. And praise God that I can!

I have done many photo shoots in the last two weeks, but here are a few sneak peeks from some of those shoots:

Photo Shoots

227. Sneak Peek 1: M and J

228. Sneak Peek 2: S and E

229. Sneak Peek 3: C and her mom

230. Sneak peek 4: More of Connor's Family

231. Sneak Peek 5: H and I

232. Sneak Peek 6: M, B, and H

233. The sweet mama is above is my awesome friend Heather--the one who let me use her camera for 12 different photo shoots....her and her girlies are so beautiful, and she is expecting a baby in early February!

234. I am thankful for new gifts, new talents, sweet friends and family who use what God has given them to help you make it happen....I got to make over 30 custom designed Christmas cards in addition to the photo shoots....

235. The Lord has blessed me, and I am thankful beyond measure that I recognize it (because of His Holy Spirit) in hard times.

Joy

2011-12-12T23:34:00.000-08:00

Gavin feels sick much of the day everyday now.

It isn't any specific symptom...just a weariness--a fatiguing weakness--about him that is here more often than it's not.

He wanted me to take a picture of his "I don't feel good face" and this is what I got.

Homeschooling him has been challenging for several reasons. First, he is either bouncing off the walls with uncontrollable hyperactivity, or he "running into them" in utter exaustion--often going from one extreme to the other.

He is a math rockstar but struggles with reading tremendously. We're finally going to have him evaluated for a learning disability because he just isn't anywhere near where he should be at this point.

I can't help but think that the reason he struggles is related to his chronic illness.

His greatest weakness is his memory and how fast he fatigues...kinda like me these days...which I find ironic.

My instinct is telling me that we both have a Mitochondrial Disease, or at least something similar. It appears to be the only disease that can encompass so many of our symptoms. Clearly in the spectrum of the disease, we would be considered mild, but a mild Mitochondrial Disease is still life-altering, still chronic, and still a disease.

I saw a video on Facebook today about a sweet little girl with a severe form of a Mitochondrial Disease. It broke my heart to see what she and her family go through...knowing that her brain is slowly shrinking and that eventually it will take her life while she is still a little girl.

But in the video, her amazing doctor said the following:

"She is like most of the kids I treat with Mitochondrial Disease. They are the kind of kids, if they could grow up, would take an umbrella and dance around in the rain, in a storm, because they find whatever it is that makes their lives worthwhile in the moment."

It warmed my heart to hear him describe it that way, because much of the time, I see that same trait in my son. He has his upset moments, but all in all, he is always finding something to laugh at and something to make each and every moment enjoyable.

It humbles me and makes me long for his perspective.

In our Bible time this morning, ironically (but surely not by coincidence) our devotion and story from the Bible both had to do with having faith in the Lord--in trusting that He is working out all things for our good, even when we face hardships in our daily life.

We listed what that hard stuff is for my kids together...and then we listed what possible good we've received because of it...Make-a-Wish, homeschooling, I stay at home with them, etc....., all while recognizing that the good we see is only the tip of the huge iceberg of good that the Lord sees.

Doing this together gave my kids joy.

After all, joy comes from recognizing His grace in our life, and giving thanks for it....and even though I hate to see my kids struggle with an everyday illness, it gives us ample opportunity to recognize His grace and mercy in our everyday life.

And because we give thanks, we receive joy.

Even though we have an everyday illness, my kids are learning what it means to have faith at such a young age--and that because of this illness, they are grasping concepts that most adults don't grasp. There is joy in recognizing that.

Joy comes with perspective....joy comes when I focus on what is good instead of on what is bad....joy it's a choice.

It's been a blessing for me to teach these important truths to my children....and it has clearly blessed them.

It's the Lord's Joy that makes each moment of our life worthwhile.

My Family

2011-12-11T16:14:00.000-08:00

(Yesterday was MY family's turn to have their pictures taken...but before my friend Heather got there to take some of all 4 of us, I took some of our kids)

When I look at these pictures, I am in awe over how BIG they look.....

and of how happy they look....

And how in love they are with each other practially all the time....

Then I look at US. Me and MY family...how much we've been through...and that we've gotten through it all only because of the Lord's strength and provision....and that because of it, we're stronger, and more in love....and all I feel is awe.

I am SO thankful that our hardships have brought us closer because sadly for so many, hardships tear families apart.

I feel blessed

and filled with His grace

and I am madly

and utterly in love

with my family.

God couldn't have picked a better one

for ME!

Thank you Lord!

New Signs...and Other Stuff

2011-12-08T13:55:00.000-08:00

This is a theme verse of mine:

And this is my life motto in one style:

and in another:

Free to print as is, or for $15, I will send you a high resolution .jpg print so you can have a large print ordered for your home.

One idea is to have it printed as a poster and modge podge it onto wood or canvas to make it look like a subway sign.

It can also obviously printed on canvas or photo paper and be framed. ; )

To see all my signs, check out my etsy site...as usual, more will eventually come.

_______________________________

Our amazing pharmacy got their hands on some Prevacid Solutabs

for my son before we ran out of the free supply we got from people all over the country....

which brings me to this sign:

I knew the Lord would provide for my son's needs...and I praise Him for that.

_______________________________

Last year, at Gavin's Make-a-Wish trip to Orlando, Florida, Give Kids the World Resort gave us free passports to go to all the amusement parks all over the country, as long as it was one we didn't go to in Florida.

That meant we got free tickets to Legoland, which is about a half hour from us, and the San Diego Zoo--about an hour from us.

Well, they were set to expire on Friday, and with the rough year I had medically, and with Gavin's instability, we never got to use them.

And he is sick this week...so no chance on using it by Friday.

So I emailed both Legoland and the Zoo, and plead my case,

and
they graciously extended our free passports through 2013!

They said that their expiration dates don't apply to Make-a-Wish kids, because they understand how sick and how unpredictable their lives are. What a blessing!!!

And not only did they extend it, but Legoland gave us Parkhopper tickets to go to their aquarium, and the Zoo gave us tickets to also see their Wild Animal Park and both said we don't have to do it on back-to-back days so that Gavin can have the endurance and time to enjoy each place without getting sick from overdoing it.

Can I say it again?

Absolutely Amazing.

We are SO excited and pray with all our might that we will get to Legoland this month....because we so want to see it at Christmas time.

We were supposed to take Gavin on his birthday because Legos are his all time favorite thing in the whole world. He is obsessed. AND they opened a Star Wars Mini-land there--his other obsession.

But when it came time to take him on his birthday, he got sick and was eventually hospitalized.

While he is sick this week, we hope and pray with all our might that he will be able to recover so that we can take him before Christmas is over.

We would love it if you would pray for that for us.

It would be such a treat and such a tremendous blessing for us to finally be able to take him after waiting for a whole year.

Anyway...my nurse is going to get here any minute to start my IV, so it's time to end this post....Happy Thursday to you all!

Eucharisteo

2011-12-07T11:36:00.000-08:00

I read this on a blog called "A Firm Place" and want so desperstely to embed these God truths in my heart and mind, so I want to write them here.

1. I love you.

2. I am with you.

3. Don't worry about tomorrow, today has enough!

4. It is okay to let go of some relationships.

5. You cannot please everyone, and that is okay.

6. It is okay to let go of your dreams and plans for you life.

7. A healthy child is not a sign of my favor as an unhealthy child is not a sign of my displeasure.

8. Relax, when things are stressful and kids are screaming and shoes are flying...breathe and stay calm......perhaps even laugh!!

9. Those who are in need are the ones who get to experience my provision.

10. There are seasons when it is okay to "sit out." Seasons when taking a break is okay.

I can't think of any words that will speak those truths better.

They take a heavy weight off my soul.

A soul who tries with all her might to live the way the Lord wants her too but fails miserably sometimes because she forgets to keep her eyes on Him in quick fleeting moments.

It only takes a minute to mess things up when your eyes are suddenly on yourself.

I recognize that I will never be perfect on this side of heaven, and that the Holy Spirit of Jesus that lives in my heart always will be, but unfortunately, krazy glue for the eyes and heart don't exist!

What does exist is His whispering in my heart, His Word, my will towards Him, my prayers, and your prayers for us--I am thankful for having that.

Thankful that when I realize that when my gaze is not zeroed in on Him, all I have to do is shift it.

And knowing that makes me thankful for our hardships.

Yes, you read that right.

No, I am not excited that my husband has a brain injury, or that my son has two life-threatening conditions and appears to maybe have a mitochondrial disease on top of it, or that my daughter has more mild but nevertheless persistent and chronic medical conditions, or that I walk with a cane and sometimes still fall, get weekly IV's, still have painful bone marrow and muscle biopsies to get done, need to ask my family to pick things up for me or to get things for me because sometimes expelling the energy to get up isn't worth it, and probably have mastocytosis AND mitochondrial disease (or something related).

And I don't love that between all of us, we have more doctors and prescriptions than I can count (I have officially lost count at 56)....or that we can't leave the house more than once or twice a week without getting sick, and that because of that we rarely are well enough to make it to church on Sunday morning.....

And I am not crazy about some of the ways these things have shaped our lives, the way they affect us, and that in some ways they interfere with friendships we value.

I don't like any of that.

But I still give thanks.

Why?

Because of His Grace.

While we have all these really hard not "normal" things to deal with on a daily basis,

His grace has always been and will always be sufficient for us.

For me.

For my kids.

For my husband.

And for you, if you know and trust Him.

He provides the medications, He provides the food, He provides the money to get all of it, He provides a church family who supports us in ways that boggle our mind, He provides us with a home to live in with a yard--a dream we always had but never thought we would get.

And even though I had to give up full-time teaching, He gave me full-time homeschooling and helped me discover a passion for design and photography that I didn't even know I had. A passion that helps us earn much needed money WHILE I am sick and WHILE I stay home and homeschool my children (still getting to teach!).

He provided unspeakable, unbelievable healing in my husband, and provided him with a job he is AWESOME at. One that provides for us, one that He is able to work hard at and feel good about at the end of each day.

He provides us with SO much....so many big things and so many little things...little things that we don't need but desperately want...and big things that our lives depend on.

He provided Gavin with his life-saving medication when it was on nation-wide backorder through lovely blog readers such as yourselves and facebook friends all over the country without any cost to us.

He blessed us with this technology--with my awesome computer---and everything I need to design---the internet---this blog---my awesome readers---this way of communicating with the outside world--and it's often times the only way those that are "Homebound" due to illness can communicate with the outside world.

You see He has given us--provided for us--blessed us with--SO MANY things because of these hardships...IN the hardships...things we wouldn't know of if they never occurred.

He strengthened our faith in it, my marriage in it, our relationship with our kids in it--with a strength that wouldn't exist if it hadn't been refined by fire for so many years.

So I give thanks.

And as I learned from Ann Voskamp's One Thousand Gifts,

When we receive His grace--his gifts to us--His undeserved favor on us--and then we give thanks-

He fills us with His JOY.

Eucharisteo.

And I Choose His Joy in every moment of everyday.

I am so thankful that I can.

Miscelanny Monday--Photo Shoots

2011-12-05T12:01:00.000-08:00

1. I took pictures of 3 families yesterday, and this family is one of them...

They are such a beautiful easy-going family, and they were so easy to photograph. I had so much fun! I haven't gotten to editing the other two familiy shoots, but when I do, I will post them.

2. In addition to the 3 families, I did a photo shoot with Chelsea and one of her dearest bestest friends, Alysse.

They have been best friends since the summer before Kindergarden, and are in 4th grade now....they both homeschool.

And they both love American Girl dolls...and it's kinda funny how both dolls have one eye covered below!

3. Of course I snuck some in of Gavin....alone and with the girls ; )

It was a great day...can't wait to edit the rest. Funny thing is that I took so many of the first family at the top, I still have more to edit from them! Clearly, taking pictures brings me JOY...."thank you Lord!".

A Homemade Christmas

2011-12-04T11:48:00.000-08:00

Our tree is quite colorful this year, in part because the white lights we normally use wouldn't work and we didn't want to buy new ones...so alas, my husband found these colored ones in the garage and put them on. They are slowly growing on us (of course the kids LOVED them immediately!).....I suppose it does match the ornaments....the many colorful homemade ornaments.

If you look closely you will see the many felt bird ornaments my daughter and I made....do you see them all?

and you will see many felt stockings.

I made 25 felt mini stockings and numbered them 1-25 for advent.
As you can see, they hang on our tree.
I put an activity in each one,
and it also holds our Advent Jesse Tree Ornaments;
one for each day (you will see more about that as you read on!).

(The Mickey Mouse ornament is our very special Make-a-Wish Ornament that we got on Gavin's wish trip in Florida last Christmas)

The kids and I also went to our local pottery place with the Keepers of the Faith group that I lead, and we all made ornaments from clay. We actually rolled it out, cut it into the shapes we wanted, then came back after they were fired to paint them. Then they were glazed, and these are some of what we got when it was done!

These homemade stockings are new--I made them in November and

I am in love.

They are made out of felt, minus the initial circles--I made them on Photoshop Elements (where I design) and then printed them on scrapbook cardtsock. Then, I modge-podged them to the center of each pre-cut felt snowflake that I found for a dollar at Joanne's when I was buying the felt.

The stocking holders had seen better days and were an ugly dark brown rust color, so we spray-painted them white. Then I got my mason jars (see above and one below), tied some red raffia and took a sprig of greenery and tied it around the jars of candles. Wala! A practically free mantle. : )

Then I printed this sign I made below, and placed it in the center of a red patterned paper....the paper is part of a Christmas Old Navy shopping bag...and I didn't even do the shopping there so it was all free....again ; )

We are finally doing an Advent Jesse Tree this year and we're using Ann Voskamp's Jesse Tree Devotionals and ornaments. They are the prettiest ready-to-print ones I have found and her devotions are perfect for the whole family. The day I took this was obviously December 1st...I will re-post when the tree is full!

We got the branch from our backyard, and stuck into styrofoam in a basket we already had for a plant....Ann's Jesse Tree Devotionals and ornaments are also free....mama likey free!

Obviously I did not make the nativity below. I got it at Christian Book for $29.99 with free shipping (something had to be free!).

I am in love with it.
It fits perfectly into my home....and without it, it wouldn't be CHRISTmas.

After all, what would CHRISTmas be without HIM?!

Grace

2011-12-02T23:42:00.000-08:00

My mind is boggled.

How does a mom

have an almost full-time money-earning job at home

homeschool her kids full-time

take care of the house

take care of the family

take care of the 3 chronic illnesses (which includes multiple trips to the pharmacy, doctors office, lab, hospital, and having a nurse visit once a week)

get at least 12 hours of sleep a night to keep her own chronic illness "in check" (there's no lengthening days in this house without a hefty penalty)

do all of it

without losing her sanity?

Without losing her temper over messiness that didn't exist just 10 minutes before?

Without beating herself up mentally for not getting it all done?

Knowing full well that right now, she can't give up any of it at all.

Knowing full well she is thankful for it all and doesn't want to give it up anyway.

Knowing that all this that she's thankful for and all this that she wants is making her slightly insane.

GRACE.

Grace for today.

Grace for right now.

Grace for Tomorrow.

And every moment after that.

His grace is sufficient for me.

Grace--when I had Friday Favorite Pictures to post but didn't have the time or the energy to get them on here

Grace when I get all of it done

Grace when I get most of it done

Grace when I don't get any of it done

Grace over how it changes every single day

Grace when I lose it on my children for not obeying

For being messy when I am a mess myself

and they still come and hug me to say they're sorry I am having a bad day

Grace

it's a mighty wonderful gift that I am tremendously thankful for!

Miscellany Monday

2011-11-28T12:29:00.000-08:00

1. I can't belive it's already time to decorate for Christmas. I have A LOT of Fall decorations to take down, and A LOT of decorations I need to make to put up for Christmas. It can be overwhelming when you're spinning more plates than one should, but I am slowly dipping me feet into the pool of Christmas. I don't want to take away from the beauty of the holiday because I am so caught up with what doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things....but to a designer, decorations matter. Let. Me. Tell. You.

So in starting slowly, first, I designed this blog and my design blog. Then I made these signs.

For $10 I will send you a high resolution jpg file suitable for printing clearly in large sizes.

More are coming soon, simply because they are so much fun to make and so easy to use for decorations! : )

You will notice that I have the same sign 3 different times, but with three different fonts and backgrounds...it's to suit all the many tastes out there...surely I could come up with more with the same sign!

I plan on printing the one above for ourselves...plus the more I have in the making. I will reveal them as soon as I finish them.

2. Then we got a tree...my kids are pointing like Doug the Dog from the movie Up. They crack me UP!

3. Then Gavin had some fun with the piles of dirt and dust and needles on the ground...I had fun trying to get the timing with my cheap camera just right. : )

4. Taking home the tree is always fun and exciting because we know what is to come when it arrives at our house......

....decorating!

Pictures of our decorated tree coming soon.....

Our Thanksgiving

2011-11-27T11:49:00.000-08:00

We had a relaxing and thankful Thanksgiving....

My daughter thoroughly enjoyed my Mom's Cool Whip. Yes, she had pie, but when I wasn't looking, she decided to have a second helping of not pie, just cool whip.

Her face above is her when she realized she was caught but not in trouble : )

Hmmmmm.....she loves that whipped cream....but who doesn't?!

It was just me, my mom, my dad, my aunt, and us. For some strange reason, I didn't get a picture of the kids with my parents....I will have to compensate at Christmas I guess!

After having my friend's expensive Canon Rebel for a few weeks, I must confess that it was hard to go back to my regular small point and shoot camera. But I decided to be thankful for it because it's better than no camera....and plus, I still have Photoshop. ; )

She needed her camera for the holiday weekend, but then I get to have it back to take more family photo shoots for Christmas cards that I am designing. Fun, fun, fun!

We actually went the whole weekend without getting too sick...what a huge blessing that is!

Chelsea's teeth healed just in the knick of time for her to enjoy herself...in fact, we all enjoyed ourselves....a nice reprieve from daily life.

How was your Thanksgiving?

Miscellany Monday--Thankful

2011-11-21T13:11:00.000-08:00

1. Chelsea's surgery went as well as a surgery could...praise God!

The first 2 days were rough for her, and she didn't do anything but lay in this spot on the couch eating ice cream to her hearts content (what a treat that is!)

And this is her this morning---praise God! Not all the way better, but just about there.

We are so glad that after 21 months of trying to make this surgery happen, it's finally over--the narcotics, the antibiotics, the pain, the sleepless nights, the wasted time spent on the phone with dentists and insurance companies is all gone---shall I say it again?

Praise God!

2. We made Thankful Trees--they are mixed media collages and we LOVE them so much.

Can you guess whose is whose? I made one, and so I think it's pretty obvious after you decide which is mine. : )

3. We have more than 500 Prevacid solutabs coming our way thanks to sweet blog readers, Facebook friends, and our good Lord who never fails to meet our NEEDS.

4. I don't think I mentioned how much we love our dog lately. He is such an awesome dog and we're so blessed to call him ours!

5. And because a November post is not complete with what little evidence of Fall we have in Southern California, here are, once again, my neighbor's beautiful trees.

I am so thankful for them...they are simply stunning....the only way I could love them more is if they were on our lawn ; )

the magnificence of God's handywork is all around me....what an amazing gift!

I'm linking up with Carissa

If I don't get to post again, I hope you all have a

Blessed Thanksgiving

filled with all the things and people you are thankful for!

Please Pray

2011-11-18T23:28:00.000-08:00

Chelsea's major dental surgery is finally here

she is having 6 teeth extracted (all in back)

all destroyed by acid reflux despite TWO Nissen Fundoplications and hiatal hernia repairs to stop her from being able to reflux when she was 2 years old

(they wrap the upper part of the stomach around the esophagus and suture it almost closed, then to fix the hiatal hernia, they pull the part of the stomach that wripped apart and moved into her diaphragm back down to where it belongs and use metal clips to secure it back together--ouch)

needless to say it herniated each time and no longer works

(even though she still can't throw up, she can and does reflux all the time....the irony in that kills me)

We wake up at 4am

(5 hours from now, yes, I am crazy...it's nerves)

leave at 5 am

and arrive at our Children's Hospital at 6 am

with surgery at 8 am.

They are using general anesthesia

in a main operating room

because of her history of problems with anesthesia

and because she has mastocytosis

she is a high risk case.

Please pray for her safety and that everything will go smoothly.

Please also pray for me as it never gets easy to pass your child off to a stranger in a mask while they wisk her to the OR and I stand there watching them leave, alone.

Even though I have done it with both my kids more times than I can seriously count, it never gets easy.

I will be there by myself (other than the Lord being with me always!) as my hubby will be at home with our little man.

So please pray to that peace will be upon me the whole time;

the last time I did this with her at this hospital was when she was almost 3 years old and she ended up in the PICU after the surgery for respiratory disress.

I think it's the memories that are making me nervous.

"Trust in the Lord with all my heart...."

I am trusting and I thank you for praying.

Praise God it's FINALLY going to get done!!!!!!

School Pictures--Homeschool Style

2011-11-16T22:04:00.000-08:00

Still having the super expensive professional Canon camera from my dear friend Heather, I decided to do a (Home)School Photo Shoot with my kiddos on my neighbor's lawn...you know...the one with the trees that I admire and not covet (ahem).

I don't think I need to say how fun it was, but can I say that I had a blast?!

This one here is my all time favorite picture of them....

This is Chelsea's official 4th Grade Picture

and this is Gavin's official 1st Grade Picture

We spent many minutes this afternoon frolicking on my neighbor's lawn...she was kind enough to let us. : )

Since I didn't want all posed pictures, I tried to get them to be themselves....and themselves they were.

If you were to see them in real life, you would see that they are always silly

and almost always laughing.

Then I told them to love on each other...

and love they did.

Of course, in their natural silly nature.

When I look at our kids, I think of the old but awesome Doxology....

The one that says "Praise God, from Whom all blessings flow"

"Praise Him, all creatures here below"

"Praise Him above, ye heavenly host"

"Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost....Amen"

because I am so dang thankful for them

they bring so much JOY to my day

just by being them.

They even make me laugh

when they've decided they're done with the photo shoot....

Because, I mean, how cute are they?!

Thank you sweet Lord for these amazing little children....oh how I love them so.

Ahhhhh!

2011-11-14T17:16:00.000-08:00

Prevacid solutabs are on a nationwide backorder

and this is the drug that keeps my son from hemorrhaging to death

The super mega dose he is on (120 mg instead of the standard 15mg) is what prevents him from having half his stomach removed

Please pray that this shortage ends soon or that we find a suitable replacement FAST

without putting his life in danger to do so

(there is a super scary story behind replacing the med with a different one)

Deep breath....

In....

Out....

The Lord will work this out too.

Right?

Right.

He will.
I trust Him.

Nothing is too big for Him.

"Lord, You love Gavin more than I do...and that is hard for me to fathom.

Please protect him and keep his tummy safe....

and please Lord, calm my fears.....please replace it with peace....because this is so scary!

In Jesus name I pray,

Amen."

Mama Had Fun With a Friend's Camera

2011-11-14T12:46:00.000-08:00

My sweet friend Heather let me borrow her super expensive Canon Rebel camera to take pictures of families to put in the Christmas cards I design for them....such a fun idea. And such a sweet friend!

I started with my kids to try out figure out the camera....

and can I say I had SO much fun?!

I will post the pictures of the two families I took yesterday after they have seen the photos, but I figured for now, I can at least post some of my own kids.

These aren't for our cards...again...just for fun (and learning!)

We LOVE this tree and want to go back when the lighting is better...it was completely hollow on the inside!

This below was a lesson learned...when putting it on a manual setting, the sunlight behind will appear much brighter than it does to my eye...oops. I was bummed it happened, because I love the faces on my kids in all these pictures of them infront of a lavendar bush below:

Good thing I can practice as much as I want...you know...since they're my kids and all : )

This is how Chelsea feels about her teeth right now...counting down for her surgery....4 more days (and she is EXCITED)...how sad is that?!

Such an angry face, but so beautiful....I love taking pictures of her when she isn't looking.

because when she does look, half the time, I get fake smiles like this:

This is what I get when I tell her not to smile....still beautiful though!

Of course Daddy making her laugh is always good.

My son, on the other hand....smiles look the same all the time. And most of the time, they look pretty darn genuine. I LOVE this one below:

So I am officially IN LOVE with this expensive camera and am soliciting both sides of our family and my husband to get it for me as a Christmas, Birthday, and Anniversary present--that counts for every holiday present for the next two to three years....I hinted that tax return time may be a good time, and that it's in between Christmas and my birthday.

I actually got a maybe from my parents and my hubby....gotta love that. : )

Signs, Updates, and Cards

2011-11-09T11:15:00.000-08:00

I made two new signs that you can print for free as is....for $15, I will send you the high resolution .jpg file so you can have it professionally printed at any size....to see more signs, check out my etsy site.

I hope you love them as much as I do : )

This is my third version of "You Are My Sunshine" and I think this one is my favorite.

This song is so special to Chelsea as it's one of two lullabies that I sing her to sleep with every night...even still.

Even though she is almost 10, I don't think she'll ever outgrow our nightly routine.

It's like candy for my heart.

__________________________________

And speaking of Chelsea, it seems that we FINALLY found a dental surgeon willing to operate on her.

Sadly, because it's been so long since we started the process of getting authorization to have it done in the main Operating Room in the children's hospital under general anesthesia, and then finding someone who isn't wimpy to do the surgery itself because she has Mastocytosis, she has to have more teeth extracted than before. : (

I am trying to focus on the positive though--it will get taken care of, it's free to us-thanks to Healthy Families, she will be off of antibiotics and off of painkillers....she will feel better.

I love all those things.

And it's only a week and a half away.

Yes, the surgery is scheduled at our big children's hospital on Saturday, the 19th.

Yes, a Saturday.

This dentist is so good that he scheduled an emergency Saturday surgery because he sees the urgency of the situation.

It feels GOOD to finally have a dentist care about my daughter.

________________________________

Gavin hasn't had his bloodwork to check on his Gastrin level yet, but I think I discovered the reason why he lives on Zofran. (Admittedly, he isn't smiling because of that ; ) ).

It's his poor motility, and not all acid.

This is good news because it makes us less concerned that he will need surgery in the near future (even though he might anyway)....it's sad because there isn't a lot we can do about it except for medicate.

So he got an increased dose of Eryped and Reglan, both motility agents, and since then, he is needing Zofran less.

So that's all good. At least, for now, he's doing better.

We're thankful for each good moment, because we know they are so precious!

__________________________

I am feeling better, thanks to a refill in my pain meds, and a 2 liter bag of IV fluids.

I LOVE that at least something works. So glad I get to be at home with my family...so grateful for my family and friends who care so much.

So blessed and so glad to be feeling better!

__________________________

Don't forget to check out my Christmas Card Designs if you haven't already....there are 20 pre-made selections, plus I will create a custom designed card if you so desire!

Check out the details and order here!

One Thousand Gift List:

#209. The doxology--Praise God From Whom All Blessings Flow

#210. Precious moments with my daughter--a lifetime of sweet memories because of a simple lullaby

#211. Bedtime routines that comfort our kids

#212. That we finally found a dentist to operate on our daughter

#213. That he is coming to the hospital on a Saturday just to get my daughter's surgery done quickly

#214. That increased doses in Eryped and Reglan are helping my son eat more and need Zofran less

#215.That I am feeling better!

#216. For being able to sell my first Christmas Card....and knowing full well that I will sell as many as you want me to...that you are providing for us through this.....and that I love it.

Christmas Card Designs

2011-11-08T13:05:00.000-08:00

I decided to post all the Christmas Cards I created here too...there are now 20 designs to choose from....and each pre-made design is only $15! Custom options are available for $25. See the bottom for details....

A Savior is Born

A Joyful Beachy Christmas

Holly Jolly Christmas

Simply Christmas in Aqua and Green

Simply Christmas in Red

Christmas Garland

A Banner Birdie Christmas

Merry Christmas

Bird Love

Joy

Joy to the World

Rustic Beachy Christmas

Christmas at the Beach

Not-So-Traditional

Gold Greetings

Snowflake Christmas

Joyous Ornament

Joyful Fun

Vintage Not-So-Traditional Christmas

Monotone

Each Pre-made design is $15 and includes the following:

The addition of your high resolution picture
I will edit the picture if desired (enhance, add contrast, saturate, black and white, sepia, etc.)
I will personalize the names
I will email you the final copy of the card in a high resolution .jpg format
You could then upload it to Costco, Target, or Shutterfly on-line, have it printed at a 5" x 7", and pick up within an hour or have it delivered to your house.

Easy Peasy!

If you would prefer a custom designed card, using either any of the above designs or a whole new design, just email me to get started....the price of a custom card is $25.

Learning to Appreciate

2011-11-07T16:19:00.000-08:00

"Learn to appreciate difficult days."

That was the first sentence in my Jesus Calling Devotional today.

Jesus knew I would need to read that today--the day of all difficult days.

Scale of 1-10, my body feels like a horrible 9.

But I am not here to focus on whatever disease is wrecking havoc on my outer shell of a body...a body that will one day wither away...

it's my soul that I am here to give attention to.

The soul that will live forever

for eternity

because of my Savior

the one that will someday never again feel the way I do today...

Yes, THAT soul.

"Be stimulated by the challenges you encounter along your way. As you journey through rough terrain with Me, gain confidence from your knowledge that together we can handle anything."

"The knowledge is comprised of three parts; your relationship with Me, promises in the Bible, and past experiences of coping successfully during difficult times. Look back on your life and see how I have helped you through difficult days. If you are tempted to think, 'Yes, but that was then, and this is now, remember who I AM!"

"Although you and your circumstances may change dramatically, I remain the same throughout time and eternity. This is the basis of your confidence."

What an amazing devotional

on an ordinary day

a day that I need His strength the most.

Each moment throughout Tim's brain injury and recovery

Each moment of financial struggle

Each sick moment throughout the first 4 years of Chelsea's life

Every moment throughout Gavin's 6 and a half years of life with 2 life-threatening diseases

Each moment in my everyday

with an unknown disease

with pain and weakness that sometimes makes it hard to even sit

He is there. He has always been there. He always will be. He got us through so much. He will get us through this.

I Praise Him for simply being HIM.

One Thousand Gift List:

#199. Jesus Calling Devotional

#200. For speaking exactly what I need to hear, when I need to hear it

#201. For teaching me to appreciate difficult days

#202. For always being there for us, for always taking care of us, through every moment we've encountered, through every difficult and enjoyable circumstance

#203. For my cane and back brace

#204. For my IV fluids and medications

#205. That nothing can separate us from YOU

#206. That my soul will live forever with you

#207. That someday, my body will no longer hurt

#208. That you are the same and will never change

Friday Favorite Things

2011-11-04T19:18:00.000-07:00

1. I created some Christmas Card Designs that you can buy over on my design site.

All you need to do is choose your design and send me your photo, then I will insert it into the card and personalize it with your names.

Then I will email you the finished product in a high resolution .jpg format that you can then upload to sites like Costco or Target on-line, and then you can order prints in an hour or to be delivered to your house......Easy Peasy!

To see more Christmas Card Designs, click here.

2. I'm also offering custom designed Christmas cards....custom meaning that you choose everything. Email me for more details.

3. I heart my neighbor's maple trees.

I don't wish they were on my front lawn or anything....no, not at all. I am not coveting either....just admiring. Fall leaves are my favorite. {heart}

4. I especially love this fall leaf that my son lovingly shaped into a heart before giving it to me to remind me how much he loves me....

the boy melts my heart....all. the. time.

He is so much like his Daddy!

5. Gavin is my mini-protector, lover, joke-teller, drama-king-performing, snuggling, door-opening, helper, item-fetching, slow-walking (so he can stay next to me), ladies first kind of little man....

Just like his dad (minus the drama king performing part--he must get that from my side of the family).

And I adore my little man.....more than words can say.

One Thousand Gift List:

#192. Maple Trees

#193. Fall Colors

#194. Fall weather

#195. The heart leaf my son made me

#196. For making my son just like his daddy

#197. For giving me the ability to design cards, blogs, and signs

#198. For allowing me to earn money doing something I love--from my home computer--for giving me a way to contribute to our family's income even though I am too ill to work outside my home

Trick or Treat

2011-11-01T18:12:00.000-07:00

Goofballs...

Sweet Peas...

Lovable Monsters....

Amazing Decorations

Trick-or-Treating at a friend's house is always fun!

The End of a fun night...

We are blessed!

Miscellany Monday--Crafty Style!

2011-10-31T01:11:00.000-07:00

1. I made a new sign to hang in the middle of a gallery of pictures of my family...it's yours to print if you want it!

2. I made this to hang in our homeschool area for Fall, and my kids love it so much they asked if we could keep it up all year.

I decided to do that, but also decided that I would change the look of it to match the seasons. This way, we will be keeping with the idea of One Thousand Gifts all year round...love that.

3. My husband and I belong to an amazing small group Bible Study--there is 8 couples all together.

You might remember we went camping at the beach with all of them this past summer....

I find it odd that we don't have a picture of all of us together...here's some of the women in my group from our women's retreat:

I love them.

All of them...the wives, the husbands, and all 22 children!

They are sweet blessings from God, and this is our 4th year together.

So there's no holding back at our studies....we put it all out there and aren't afraid to feel vulnerable infront of each other.

Everyone needs a group like this. : )

4. Anyway, the men in our group are going on our church's retreat next weekend (and are all staying in one room together), and so I decided to host a craft night for all the mamas and their kids.

I made this invitation but emailed it (I know, not as fun, but quick and free!).

Then I made sample pages of things we can do while we're together....I made some of these, and others were found when I googled felt bird ornaments.

Then I googled felt advent stockings, holders, etc. and came up with all these amazingly cute ideas. I am making a string of little felt stockings for advent....I am bound and determined to complete all 25 of them this year!

Here are the ones I have made myself (minus 14 other stockings...I will show you all of them when they are finished)

I saw this on Pinterest, designed by Make and Takes, and I love it. So this is another craft option.

And saw this on the Ollibird blog. Such a cute blog...I love her designs!

5. My little man got really sick this past weekend....it was bound to happen...all his buddies had it, so he got it too.

Hoping we don't get it.

I have been so fragile lately and am finally starting to feel better....so we all especially hope that *I* don't get it!

6. Thankfully he is on the mend, I wouldn't want him to miss trick-or-treating tonight, though he may end up going in his wheelchair because it takes his body's energy awhile to bounce back from being sick.

I will share their costumes on tomorrow's post....you know, after I have pictures of them. : )

Happy Monday and Halloween!

Be Filled With JOY

2011-10-27T23:51:00.000-07:00

I love this sign that I made so much that I ordered it on-line, picked it up from Target's Photo Center in one hour and only paid $2.39. Not bad, eh?!

I put it in a frame on the shelf behind my couch because that's where I have spent many days of late.
It challenges me to find joy in a place where I ordinarily (lately) would be feeling sorry for myself.

It's a challenge that I am up for taking, because the Bible says

"Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again--rejoice!"
Phil. 4:4 NLT

And I want to be full of JOY always. Even when I feel like this:

Even when these two items below (along with my IV and my heart monitor) have become close friends.

Even when I have to wear this for 3 weeks and it makes me itch and beeps all the time like crazy.

Hmmm...Joy.

It isn't always easy to have.

Does it mean I have to be happy with my circumstances?

NO.

It simply means that I am to be full of the Lord's JOY.

Full of joy over what He has done for me, how much He loves me, what eternity holds for me, and what He gives me each and everyday--the things and the people in my life that I absolutely adore.

So on to finding the Lord's joy...
when I am stuck on the couch in unbearable muscle pain,
only able to get up and walk around and sit back down much like a 90 year old would,
and generally feeling like this:

I'll start from the view from here (the couch)--what's right infront of me:

It make me smile...not for any particular reason. Perhaps I love that the globe lights up and puts off a beautiful glow to that part of the house--or maybe it's the first picture I ever took of Gavin and Chelsea together when Gavin was just days old....oh, and the seashells that fill the little glass jars that hang from the wall--seashells that remind me of our lovely vacations to San Elijo State Beach because that's where we got them.......I love the view.

Then I look right--it's hard not to feel joyful when I'm looking at this face:

Or these two faces below--Gavin's facial expression is a riot.

And I will have you know that while I am stuck on the couch, they serve me, take care of me, and play together--happily--without complaint. Such a HUGE reason to have joy.

The genuinely LOVE each other...not many siblings are as in love with each other as these two...more joy.

To do schoolwork, Chelsea brought her math to the couch instead of expecting me to come to the table (I didn't even ask). JOY

Love watching her and snapping unposed pictures of her while she reads....JOY

I LOVE how beautiful she is, inside and out...JOY

And this little guy...with the million faces....who has more compassion and empathy than any 6 year old male heart I have ever seen.

You got it.....JOY.

I am happy to say I am filled with it even now when I feel OLD. : )

Linking up with Rachel.

One Thousand Gift List:

#181. The "Be Filled With Joy" sign that sits in the place I lay when I am sick...that it reminds me to be filled with YOUR JOY

#182. The view from my couch

#183. The looks on my children's faces when they are having fun

#184. That their silliness can make me laugh even when I feel horrible

#185. That when I am sick on the couch, my children are happy to help, care for, and entertain me : )

#186. Gavin and Chelsea genuinely love each other

#187. My daughter's motivation to complete school and that she always wants to be next to me

#188. Snapshots of Chelsea's face when she doesn't know I am looking

#189. Her natural beauty, inside and out

#190. My little guy who has more compassion and empathy that any other little boy I have ever seen

#191. That all these things fill me with joy even when I feel OLD. ; )

Cartoon and Gifts

2011-10-25T21:29:00.000-07:00

Here's a little cartoon that depicts how today went:

I am having severe muscle spasms in my lower back and hips into my thighs. Of course because of the recent myopathy diagnosis, it freaks me out a lot.

I didn't mention it before but in light of the fact that these new spasms are scaring me, I will tell you why they are scaring me.

My neuromuscular specialist has narrowed down my diagnosis to either one type of Muscular Dystrophy or a Mitochondrial Cytopathy.

The thought of having severe disabling spasms--forever--

freaks. me. out.

I know, I always jump three thousand steps ahead of today, but sometimes it's just hard to not jump three thousand steps away from today.

More about the pictures above:

Gavin is struggling with his stomach. He had his hospital clinic appt yesterday, the ultrasound was normal for gall stones, which means his stomach is continuing to slowly deteriorate, making an antrectomy (half his stomach removed) move closer and closer towards us............

Chelsea is struggling with the teeth that haven't been fixed yet because we haven't been able to find a dentist that is willing to operate on her in the hospital because they are all afraid of Mastocytosis---she was in the emergency room the night before getting pain medication and more antibiotics........

Me, unable to bend, stand up straight, sit or walk without excruciating pain, needing to homeschool, having to fulfill design requests on the computer because we need the money, and needing to complete homeschooling requirements on the computer because they are, uh, requirements....needing to make so many medical phone calls, and go to so many appointments, and juggle more balls than I can keep in the air.....and blogging even though I know I shouldn't just because it gets the sanity out of my head....even though it makes the pain slightly worse, at least temporarily....

And my sweet husband who is so tired and so worried about all 3 of us....bless his heart.

I have gifts in this though--gifts that bring me joy--part of my One Thousand Gift List--and right now is as good of time as any to list them:

#164. Our dear, amazingly AWESOME small group Bible Study is bringing us meals every night, and the meals are delightfully delicious. It's blessing us tremendously. Friends are one of God's greatest gifts. {heart}
#165. Muscle relaxer prescriptions
#166. Heating Pads
#167. Ipod Nanos with relaxing music
#168. How compassionate our children have grown to be in our suffering.
#169. Hearing my kids pray for me to feel better, completely unprovoked, all on their own when they think no one else is listening but God
#170. My cane that physically holds me up
#171. Being able to get some homeschooling done in the midst of what has almost become utter chaos
#172. Being able to earn money to help my husband support our family
#173. Being able to homeschool even though we're sick, because we're sick
#174. Nothing new is wrong with Gavin, and for right now, today, he doesn't need surgery
#175. We may have found a dentist who finally is willing to operate on Chelsea, we meet him to go over details next Tuesday (oh please Lord, let this guy be the one and let him get her in so soon!)
#176. No appointments for the rest of this week
#177. Friends...I know I sort of mentioned this one...but I am especially thankful for them tonight
#178. Knowing that ALL THIS too, shall pass.
#179. Having a Savior who always loves us, never leaves us, always cares for us, always protects us, and Who we can always go for everything, all the time.
#180. Being able to explain joy in suffering to my daughter and having her UNDERSTAND it!

Faces, Signs, and Hearts

2011-10-22T14:54:00.000-07:00

My little man is one of the most animated people I have ever known....here are some of the many faces of Gavin:

He will be having an abdominal ultrasound, blood tests, and seeing his GI at the childrens hospital on Monday....hoping nothing that is new and bad will be discovered.

_____________________________

The new high-tech heart monitor I am wearing as I type is a big pain in the you know what. Even though the blackberry phone it's attached to is charged for 12 hours every night, it still needs to be charged like every 5 hours throughout the day.

Not ideal. Why is it not ideal? Because I have to stay within 5 feet of the wall it's plugged into. HUGE hassle. You'd think with the high tech world we live in, it would last longer than 5 hours!

3 days down, and 18 more annoying days to go.

_______________________________

I made 2 more signs that are close to my heart.

Both are themes on my blog....feel free to print as is!

For $15 you can email me, and I will send you the high resolution size for a large print.

And of course, as always, custom signs with any saying, colors, and fonts are $20.

I am currently obsessed...in case you haven't noticed. ; )

You can find all 25 signs on my etsy site by clicking here.

Wedding Anniversaries, Prayer, and Gifts

2011-10-18T13:28:00.000-07:00

Tim and I celebrated our 11th wedding anniversary this past weekend : )

I made him this collage for his present--it's pictures of us from the past 15 years (while we've been married for 11 years, we've been together for 15). If you look closely, you may notice which pictures reveal him with half a skull!

He gave me these beautiful red roses as red roses created my wedding bouquets.

And I picked out this necklace on Farmgirl Paint's etsy site because we usually say

"heart you" instead of "love you".

We celebrated by going out on an actual date....we haven't been on one like this in two years so it was such a treat.

We spent the evening at the restaurant that we had our wedding reception at 11 years ago....it was so romantic.

I heart my husband....I would never want to do life without him!

_______________________________

I have been sick A LOT lately...hence the huge drop in how many blog posts I write. But I am sick of laying on the couch watching old episodes of Scrubs, so I started playing piano again. As long as I hold myself still, I can do it and for that, I am grateful.

I discovered an amazingly gifted pianist while reading Ann Voskamp's blog, "A Holy Experience". She has David Nevue playing in the background and I instantly fell in love when I first heard it.

I especially love that David's website allows you to buy the sheet music he plays from....I already purchased 3 and LOVE being able to play just like him.

It's such a gift to my heart to be able to still play--let alone play such beautiful pieces!

___________________________________

I have had more medical tests than I care to count lately, but I am so thankful that we are making progress

While I don't want to go into details right now, I will say this:

my neuromuscular specialist recognized the pattern in testing that initially led my neurologist to fear that I had ALS, but was able to confirm that the pattern is not indicative of ALS in me.

She was able to see that my problem is in my muscles, NOT my nerves.

She has now narrowed down the diagnosis to a couple different conditions involving my muscles that potentially connect my recent heart troubles together and as we arrive at the final diagnosis, I will share it with you.

In the meantime, if you would pray for me and for Gavin, I would appreciate it.

Prayer requests:

1. For Gavin...that his acute GI danger symptoms would subside, that he isn't having negative side effects from his life-saving medication, and that he wont ever need surgery to remove half his stomach

2. That my upcoming muscle biopsy will clearly reveal my diagnosis.

3. That my heart will calm down and beat normally

4. That the new treatments for my non-stop horrible headaches will work.

5. Continued endurance to homeschool, cook, clean, be a wife, a mom, and to go to all these appointments and tests for me and Gavin all at the same time

One Thousand Gift List:

#148. Our 11th wedding anniversary--my life with my husband

#149. Going out on a real date and having more fun than we ever thought possible!

#150. David Nevue Piano Music--it's heaven for my soul

#151. Being able play piano still

#152. My husband being able to take days off work to go to UCLA Medical Center with me every time

#153. Amazing doctors

#154. Progress!

#155. He gives me strength for each day

#156. His mercies are new every morning

#157. He provides every big and little thing right when we need it....Great is thy Faithfulness!

#158. Health insurance

#159. Our medications

#160. Homeschooling my children

#161. A supportive Education Specialist

#162. Supportive and loving friends and family

#163. My sweet children--their giggles--their compassion--the way THEY LOVE ME!

and this quote:

#164. "There is no greater mercy that I know of on earth than good health except it be sickness; and that has often been a greater mercy to me than health…it is a good thing to be without a trouble; but it is a better thing to have a trouble, and know how to get grace enough to bear it." ~Spurgeon

I am so blessed!

Miscellany Monday

2011-10-10T08:46:00.000-07:00

1. I have lagged in the posting about homeschooling department. Between doctors appointments and feeling sick, it's enough to attempt to keep my head above water...let alone take the time to reflect and record all we've been doing with school.

I'm going to make a purposeful effort to post more because it's a time in our life that I don't want to forget when they are all grown up.

Gavin struggles with Language Arts tremendously...he does awesome in Math...opposite of me and my daughter. So last week, when he was finally able to copy numbers from a separate sheet of paper and write the numbers by himself without help correctly, it was cause for celebration!

I am so proud of him...he is chugging a long, slowly but surely in this area.

2. Last week we made some Fall Art

For some reason, I only have pics of Gavin's...but for the record, Chelsea made the tree above too. The pumpkin below, however, was an exercise in strengthening my son's fine motor skills (tearing paper is a great way to do that!). As you can tell, he loves his art.

3. We took a mini "field trip" to the new Lego store at our local mall. I know it's a stretch to call it a field trip, but it was fun and much needed after sitting in the cardiologist's office for an hour and a half.

The highlight of the store (and the reason I decided to call it a field trip) is that they have this wall of legos where they can create anything their imagination can muster up, and if it fits in a cup when taken apart, they get to buy it for $7.99.

It was fun seeing my creative engineers put their imaginations to work...

They really enjoyed it.

And the best part for this mama, is that both of their creations fit into one cup so I only paid $7.99 all together even though they both got to create their very own lego vehicles.

Totally worth it!

4. I created a new centerpiece for our dining room/kitchen table (we only have one). The embroidered cloth that lays underneath the arrangement was made by my Nana in the 1920's. It's so special and I felt teary and nostalgic as I laid it on my table. She passed away about 15 years ago, but I love having a part of her legacy on our table for all to see.

The "Give Thanks" sign is one of my free printable signs that I created on Photoshop. I got a $1 unfinished wood frame at Michaels and painted it yellow. Then I put the sign in after printing it myself at home. Inexpensive and cute is always a bonus!

4. One of my friends brought over the most amazing looking (and tasting) dessert to my house this past Friday for our Keepers of the Faith meeting.
Isn't it divine?!

All 14 girls, 2 little brothers, and 3 moms gobbled it up in seconds...it tasted as great as it looked!

5. I created another new sign that I just love....

I struggle with anxiety when it comes to losing my kids and husband, and so the verse is so comforting to me. To see more, check out my design site.

6. If you didn't see the post underneath this one, please check it out. I would appreciate your prayers for whatever is going on with my heart. Thanks. : )
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I'm linking up with Carissa, so to see more Miscellany Monday posts, head on over to her blog...

Happy Monday!

Please Pray

2011-10-09T20:33:00.000-07:00

I just spent 5 hours in the ER for me...

tacchycardia that isn't going away (itr's been days), high BP--large shifts from low to really high back and forth), shallow fast respirations...they ruled out all the life-threatening things (clots, embolisms, heart attack, etc.--praise God) but I am to follow up with my cardiologist for the echocardiogram we already planned to do.

Please pray for me...I am so uncomfortable, so tired, and so worn out. So much is still ahead.

"Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28