Choosing His Joy: Come

Two days ago, I told my husband, while I was in tears, that I feel like Peter.

{To see all that we're dealing with right now, click here.}

Jesus allows Peter to walk on water, and he does miraculously walk on water....that is until Peter starts to look around at the circumstances around them in that moment. He starts to fear, as his eyes are no longer on Jesus, and thus, starts to sink.

All he had to do was keep his eyes glued to the eyes of Jesus to keep afloat...and Jesus was physically RIGHT INFRONT OF HIM.

I can't imagine, only I can, all at the same time.

I told my husband that I feel like the one {Peter} whom Jesus tells, "Oh, ye of little faith, why did you doubt?". I know the Lord ALWAYS sees us through, so why do I still continue to fear in the storms of life?

Two days later, all of this still stewing in my mind, I read this devotional, from Jesus Calling:

"My face is shining upon you, beaming out Peace that transcends all understanding. You are surrounded by a sea of problems, but you are face to face with Me, your Peace. As long as you focus on Me, you are safe. If you gaze too long at the myriad of problems around you, you will sink under the weight of your burdens. When you start to sink, simply call out "Help Me Jesus!" and I will lift you up.

The closer you live to Me, the safer you are. Circumstances around you are undulating, and they are treacherous-looking waves in the distance. Fix your eyes on Me, the One who never changes. By the time those waves reach you, they will have shrunk to proportions of My design. I am always beside you, helping you face today's waves. The future is a phantom, seeking to spook you. Laugh at the future! Stay close to me."

And what is one of the verses it assigns me to look up?

Wow.

I LOVE when it speaks right to me, telling me exaclty what I need to hear from the Lord in that given specific moment....especially when it tells me to look up a verse that the Lord had already placed on my heart two days before I even read it.

Amazing.

As I read it, all I could think was, "Yes, I AM surrounded by a sea of problems. I DO gaze too long at the myriad of them and I DO sink under the burden", but then it occurred to me that I also do it with full knowledge that I don't need to.

So why do I?

Paul goes on to say:

I have this Lord and Savior in front of me, saying "Come to Me", just as Jesus told Peter to "Come" out onto the top of the water.

He has the ability to hold me up if only I keep my eyes on Him, but instead of fixating my sight on Him and instead of trusting Him to keep me afloat, I gaze around at the myriad that surrounds me and I begin to sink into a sea of self-pity....

So today, I took out my 1000 Gifts Journal for 2013, and I started to write about His "Startling Graces" in the past few days....because giving thanks for His graces in my life brings me joy. In that joy, anxiety is taken away...thus, when I feel anxious, I need to stop and give thanks.

Some highlights:

*I felt horrible and didn't know how I would get Gavin to his appointment over 2 hours away, but not only did God strenghthen me to get there, but the appointment that I dreaded also went really well.

*My mom was in un-bearable pain, but with mew pain meds, she has some relief, even while a tumor presses on her spinal cord.

*Even when my husband worked a 15 hour day that started at 4 am, he still came home and listened to me cry and dump out every thought and feeling onto him for over an hour, because he cares about my heart, because he loves me and knew I needed to be listened to.

*That this devotional would tell me what I already had felt in my heart, that God, in His sovereignty would still love me and hold me even in my anger, bitterness, and utter confusion.

*That He still will work out all things for our good, according to the plan He has for each of us, even in our pain....even when I can't possibly understand what good could come from all this.

*That He still comes to my rescue when I sink in my lack of faith.