Looking Up

I saw this section of video from the movie UP on Rachel's blog this morning and it moved me to tears.

It made me think of my life with my husband thus far--not because the details of our lives are identical, but because while their life was full of heartbreak and struggle, their joy was completely visible, their hope never gone, and their love for each other strong and unwaivering.

It inspires me to wear my joy and my hope even in the midst of the most difficult times

times when heartbreak and disappointment and fear pile up one on top of the other with seemingly no reprieve in between.

Or is there?  Reprieves, I mean. 

Perhaps they are there--

 beautifully sandwiched between the struggles--

visible only through the lenses of Christ.   

My Jesus Calling Devotional this week was amazing as always, but one particular day spoke to me the most:

It was on April 26th--the day of all horrible days that I posted about earlier in the week.

"Welcome problems as perspective-lifters.  My children tend to sleepwalk through their days until they bump into an obstacle that stymies them.  If you encounter a problem with no immediate solution, your response to that situation will take you either up or down.  You can lash out at the difficulty, resenting it and feeling sorry for yourself.  This will take you down into a pit of self-pity.  Alternatively, the problem can be a ladder, enabling you to climb up and see your life from my perspective. Viewed from above, the obstacle that frustrated you is only a light and momentary trouble.  Once your perspective has been heightened, you can look away from the problem altogether.  Turn toward Me, and see the light of My Presence shining upon you."

Ironically, the devotional points out that our problems can only be seen as light and momentary when we look UP.

UP. 

That's how I want to live my life.

I want to see my medical and financial challenges as ladders--

as perspective-lifters instead of resentment or pity inducers. 

I want to recognize the reprieves as He gives them to me

and be clothed in hope and joy even when heartbreak surrounds....

by looking UP.

But I can't do that on my own strength.

It takes repeated prayer, hyper-vigilant focus on my Savior, the bathing of my mind in Scripture, and a whole lot of faith.

In a nut-shell, it takes purposeful effort.

So what joyful reprieves did I experience this week?  Where did I look up and see the hand of God on my circumstance? 

Here goes...

 Even though Tuesday was dreadful, we made it home safely.

Even though I ended up in the Emergency Room on Wednesday, they were able to get an IV access, and within hours of the start of my infusion, my symptoms were gone.

 Getting to spend time with a close friend on the street (in her car!) infront of my house upon arriving home from the ER in the middle of the night--being able to spend time sharing some hearty laughs and girly giggles without interruption while the rest of the city slept--all because the Lord sent me a friend who was wide awake well into the night when I needed a ride home from the ER.

Even though my neurologist still has suspicions of ALS and so still wants me to see a neuromuscular specialist--even though my HMO network is without neuromuscular specialists and they have taken months to authorize referrals--my neurologist's urgent request for referral and the resulting authorization was generated hours after its initial request--and I now have an appointment at the UCLA Neuromuscular Center in the coming weeks....all within 24 hours of my neurology appointment.

Chelea's dental surgery in the hospital was finally approved! 

Even though Gavin had a masto flare-up yesterday, and appeared to need his first IV in two years--sending my mind into a downward spiral of him having to live with a central line again for the 5th summer of his life--I was able to manage the reaction with medications alone.  He was able to sip enough water to stay out of the hospital.  He started to feel better without any further intervention--a HUGE accomplishment in his life!

I just got my allergist authorization for a doctor who is willing to treat my Mastocytosis and has a working relationship with my prior Masto researching doc!

I was approved for more Physical Therapy yesterday, hours after being referred--and because I have a health care spending account that I no longer need to share with my children, I can afford to go back!

Within 24 hours of asking some close friends to pray that the many referrals would come through...we got all of them for me and are now only waiting on Gavin's.

And last but not certainly not least...

My life-long forever joy-filled reprieves are these

and him....even when he is grumpy : )

and him

and this

And last but certainly the most...Him.

Fore more Friday Favorites, visit Rachel at Finding Joy....and Happy Friday!