The night between Saturday and Sunday {Mother's Day} I got hit out of nowhere with the most incredible abdominal pain I have ever felt since labor and childbirth. I went to our small neighborhood ER and for the first time, was treated horribly. I see that now as a blessing in disguise....because little did I know what was to come.
I went home and slept off most of Mother's Day on pain killers and on Monday morning, my mom drove me straight to my GI's office. My GI took one look at me with my pain and fever, and sent me straight to the ER at our big local trauma center/hospital {A.K.A. best hospital ever}.
IV painkillers didn't touch the pain. My fever was rapdily rising, my bloodwork was REALLY abnormal, and a CT scan confirmed that I had a severely infected gall bladder, that was nearly perforated.
The infection had also inflamed my pancreas and my billirubin levels were overflowing into my blood.
It was such a mess on the first CT that they couldn't tell if I actually had a perforation in my gall bladder or not. So in the middle of the night, they rushed me to surgery to insert a drain directly into my liver and into my gall bladder to drain all the fluid.
Several subsequent CT scans later revealed that although it did not completely perforate, it was SO thin, that I was dangerously close to having my gall bladder burst inside me. {scary!}
Further testing {blood cultures} revealed that the bacterial infection in my gall bladder traveled into my bloodstream, and with my really abnormal labs, they were concerned I was becoming septic.
So I was admitted to the SICU (Surgical Intensive Care Unit).
I don't remember much of what followed even though I managed to post a Facebook update from the SICU that I don't even remember writing!
My husband said I was unconscious almost the entire 4 days and that I was very sick.
I remembered bits and pieces of things, but not night and day, who visited--even though on some occasion, I spoke to them--or nursing shift changes, or when the monitors were put on; I pretty much remember almost nothing.
My husband said I would spontaneously wake and complain about a 80's heavy medal hair band that wouldn't stop playing and that it was making me crazy....I chuckle at the thought of that! He also said I would be completely out, then open my eyes and start talking to him like we were in the middle of a conversation. I remember doing that one time, and I recall seeing the look on his face, so I asked, "We, were not having a conversation, were we?"...in which he shook his head no with a big grin. Then, he said my eyes closed and I was out as quickly as they opened!
This little green button eventually became my BFF when I was aware of it.
Turns out they put me on a PCA pain pump with heavy duty doses of Dilaudid along with some sedatives to allow my body to rest. I had a steady stream going into me, and every time I pushed the green button, I got a bolus of more. I remember thinking...ah....if I lay perfectly still, I felt no pain. It felt like heaven.
My amazing SICU nurse Laurie, (who ironically was one of my husband's nurses that helped save his life back in 1999 when he suffered a traumatic brain injury), was and is incredible...she's like an angel.
I remember her making me laugh, but don't remember why.
I remember feeling so safe, secure, and comforted.
I only remember being at peace...which so isn't like me....but so like the Lord!
I remember brief seconds of all of the other nurses that took care of Tim (and I!) back in 1999 coming in to hug us and say hello...loving on us like we were family and that 14 years hadn't gone by.
And I remember Laurie washing my hair for me and combing it out....how amazing it felt to have clean hair after fighting such a high fever for so many days.....
And somehow I got some make-up on...I probably did it, but I am not sure; and if I did, I am impressed with how well I did so sedated! ;)
After almost 5 days in the SICU, I was transferred out to the regular floor...3 East....I was teary-eyed to leave Laurie, but happy and so grateful that I was getting better and that I was spared from sepsis.
{When you get a blood infection, it's called bacteremia. When you have bacteremia, you can quickly develop sepsis. That can quickly lead to septic shock and death; so the GREAT LORD and AMAZING staff in the SICU prevented me from getting deathly ill, although apparently, I was close to getting to that place}
Once I was on the regular floor and my sedatives and pain meds were turned down, and I had already spent 5 days on 3 IV antibiotics that started to work....I started to be more of and feel more like ME.
On Day 6, I cried because I had to miss my son's baseball game as it's the only thing I have ever missed with my kids. But my sweet son told me getting better was more important than seeing his game and he was so comforting, sensitive, and loving about it, thinking only of me and not himself.
Tim recorded all his at bats on his cell phone, even though he was coaching from the field. It was the next best thing. My kids brought me amazing art work, and I was able to start taking in fluids by mouth. I was happy but emotional...I kept going from tears to smiles! :)
I had a hard time breathing and hated the spirometer....but I loved having a cup of coffee and that I still had my green PCA pain pump button.
I remembered this verse below and decided I needed to dwell on every word.
(I designed this...it's in my Etsy Shop!}
So I wobbled around my room as soon as I was able, to take pictures of everything that was brought to me to make me happy....paintings by my children, flowers from my husband, favorite photographs, and flowers/cards from my parents and friends....I instructed my husband how to decorate my room so that I had a happy wall to stare at from bed...he did a remarkable job :)
My husband is literally a saint. He has had to do EVERYTHING.
Praise God he got all 2 weeks off of work so he could be with the kids and they could visit me daily. Chelsea and Gavin got special time with Dad...I'm so thankful for that.
He homeschooled them (and got a taste of what my days are like at home!), but blew me out of the water with everything he was able to accomplish from doing all of Gavin's meds, having all the right food, doing all the necessary and desired housework, and still managed to see me for several hours a day with our two loves.
You can see my kids were largely unaffected by this. The blessing in being chronically ill, but "always" coming out ok, is that they don't fear all this anymore. It's just a normal part of life for us, and I am thankful for it because it has strengthened them. They didn't get teary until the last few nights of my stay but it was only because they missed me. Otherwise, they were coming in and making me laugh (painfully!) like they always do :)
Oh my husband....my love.
One of my best friends from college (who I knew before I knew Tim) commented on this picture when I posted it on Facebook, and the comment melted my heart. She said:
"You two were always meant to be. Through thick and thin... You are such a picture of love and real commitment. It is beautiful to see and I am grateful to be a part of your story. Xo"
It makes my heart pitter-patter to read it again, even now.
Then by day 12, I was ready to go home! :)
"You two were always meant to be. Through thick and thin... You are such a picture of love and real commitment. It is beautiful to see and I am grateful to be a part of your story. Xo"
It makes my heart pitter-patter to read it again, even now.
Then by day 12, I was ready to go home! :)
I have to wear the drain for two more weeks, I still have the infected gall bladder because I was too sick for them to remove it, I need two more weeks of IV antibiotics at home {praise God for my port-a-cath!}, and I can barely walk or lift a thing, but I got to come home!
{Surgery to remove my gall bladder and drain will be in about 2 weeks}
I am here now, and am so content to just be. I am overwhelmed with gratitude over God's grace, the amazing care I received, and all I was spared from in such a dangerous situation.
I am now spending more time appreciating the little things I used to take for granted...a fresh breeze blowing on my face, the sounds of nature from an open window, showers(!), and just being HOME.
While my sweet hubs has to do everything, if I try to help, he quickly scolds me (lovingly) to stop it and let him do it. He is a gift from God, my rock on earth, my love forever and ever.....and I made it through this rough patch intact!
Consider Me
{Pocket Fuel/Society 6}
